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| If ignorance is bliss, most of us must be orgasmic... |
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| If it looks too good to be true, it is too good to be true... |
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| If opportunity came disguised as temptation, one knock would be enough... |
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| If the slightest probability for an unpleasant event to happen exists, the event will take place, preferably during a demonstration... |
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| If you are asked to join a parade, don`t march behind the elephants... |
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| If you cannot fix it, feature it... |
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| If you do not know what you`re doing, do it neatly... |
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| If you have something to do, and you put it off long enough, chances are someone else will do it for you... |
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| If you see a man approaching you with the obvious intent of doing you good, you should run for your life... |
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| If you want to get along, go along... |
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Category : One liners.
Rating : 4.17, 86 votes.
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| When you`re going up the stairs and you take a step, kick the other leg up high behind you to keep people from following too close... |
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Rating : 1.95, 17 votes.
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| Too bad when I was a kid there wasn`t a guy in our class that everybody called the "Cricket Boy", because I would have liked to stand up in class and tell everybody, "You can make fun of the Cricket Boy if you want to, but to me he`s just like everybody else... |
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| One thing that makes me believe in UFOs is, sometimes I lose stuff... |
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| Sometimes life seems like a dream, especially when I look down and see that I forgot to put on my pants... |
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| I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king, I hope they don`t just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas... |
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Category : One liners.
Rating : 4.12, 78 votes.
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| Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis... |
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| To me, boxing is like a ballet, except there`s no music, no choreography, and the dancers hit each other... |
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| You know what would make a good story? Something about a clown who makes people happy, but inside he`s real sad... |
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| The memories of my family outings are still a source of strength to me... |
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Category : One liners.
Rating : 9.00, 1 votes.
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| It you`re a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it`s real embarrassing if someone tries to kill you... |
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