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| My other wife is beautiful... |
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| Nuns: Women who marry God... |
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| The difference between marriage and death? Dead people are free... |
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| This delivery driver carries no money... |
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| KNOW YOUR STATE MOTTOAlabamaHell Yes, We Have Electricity... |
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| A.. You answer the door before people knock. b.. Juan Valdez named his donkey after you. c... |
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| Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster that anambulance...Only in America...... |
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| The Presedent, his wife, the "smartest man in the world", an old man and a boy scout are on an airplane that`s about to crash... |
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| Jesus walks into a Holiday Inn, tosses three nails on the counter and says can put me up for the nig... |
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| Wear short sleeves: Support your right to bare arms!... |
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| Q: If there were 4 potatoes in a room, which one would be the prostitute? A: The one that`s labe... |
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| Q.How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? A. It`s not hard.... |
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| Q: What`s the definition of an Impotent Loser? A: A guy who can`t even get His hopes up... |
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| Dopelar effect (n.) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.... |
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| You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake... |
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| This guy wakes up out of a deep sleep and, feeling real horny, nudges his wife awake and asks, "Why don`t we get it on, eh?" She replies, "I have an appointment at the gynecologist tomorrow and you know I don`t like to make love the night before... |
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| Q: What do Michael and homework have in common? A: Both are a pain in the ass to kids... |
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| If electricity comes from electrons... |
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| Lullabuoy (n.) An idea that keeps floating into your head and prevents you from drifting off to slee... |
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| Why did the British cross the Atlantic?To get to the other tide!... |
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