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Rules for work
Work jokes
Rating : 5.04, 42 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
1. Never give me work in the morning. Always wait until 4:00 and then bring it to me. The challenge of a deadline is refreshing.
2. If it`s really a rush job, run in and interrupt me every 10 minutes to inquire how it`s going. That helps. Or even better, hover behind me, advising me at every keystroke.
3. Always leave without telling anyone where you`re going. It gives me a chance to be creative when someone asks where you are.
4. If my arms are full of papers, boxes, books, or supplies, don`t open the door for me. I need to learn how to function as a paraplegic and opening doors with no arms is good training in case I should ever be injured and lose all use of my limbs.
5. If you give me more than one job to do, don`t tell me which is priority. I am psychic.
6. Do your best to keep me late. I adore this office and really have nowhere to go or anything to do. I have no life beyond work.
7. If a job I do pleases you, keep it a secret. If that gets out, it could mean a promotion.
8. If you don`t like my work, tell everyone. I like my name to be popular in conversations. I was born to be whipped.
9. If you have special instructions for a job, don`t write them down. In fact, save them until the job is almost done. No use confusing me with useful information.
10. Never introduce me to the people you`re with. I have no right to know anything. In the corporate food chain, I am plankton. When you refer to them later, my shrewd deductions will identify them.
11. Be nice to me only when the job I`m doing for you could really change your life and send you straight to managers` hell.
12. Tell me all your little problems. No one else has any and it`s nice to know someone is less fortunate. I especially like the story about having to pay so much taxes on the bonus check you received for being such a good manager.
13. Wait until my yearly review and THEN tell me what my goals SHOULD have been. Give me a mediocre performance rating with a cost of living increase. I`m not here for the money anyway.
Rating : 5.04, 42 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
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