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Robert schmidt 04
One liners
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I saw a want ad. Light housekeeping. They said, "Here, change this bulb". I said, "I`ll need some friends".
I moved into an all-electric house. I forgot and left the porch light on all day. When I got home the front door wouldn`t open.
I got a garage door opener. It can`t close. Just open.
I went to a garage sale. "How much for the garage?" "It`s not for sale."
You know how it is when you go to be the subject of a psychology experiment, and nobody else shows up, and you think maybe that`s part of the experiment? I`m like that all the time.
You know how it is when you decide to lie and say the check is in the mail, and then you remember it really is? I`m like that all the time.
I went over to the neighbor`s and asked to borrow a cup of salt. "What are you making?" "A salt lick."
There aren`t enough days in the weekend.
My friend Sally is a nudist. I went to her house. The closets have no doors. The walls are covered with see-through wallpaper. Sally plays strip poker. Whenever she loses, she has to put something on.
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