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I get no respect 03
One liners
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"It`s tough to stay married. My wife kisses the dog on the lips..yet she won`t drink from my glass!"
"Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!"
"I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette!"
"A travel agent offered me a 21 day special. He told me I would fly from New York to London. Then from Tokyo back to New York. I asked him...how am I supposed to get from London to Tokyo? He told me. .. that is why we give you 21 days.
"Another travel agent told me I could spend 7 nights in Hawaii...No days..just nights."
"My problem is that I appeal to everyone that can do me absolutely no good."
"My wife isn`t very bright. The other day she was at the store and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said...did you see the guy that did it? She said ... No, but I got the license plate."
"A girl phoned me and said...Come on over there`s nobody home. I went over... Nobody was home!"
"I went to a massage parlor. It was self service."
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