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Breast exam poem
Medical jokes
Rating : 4.56, 9 votes.
Reviews : 49 [add review]
For years and years they told me,
Be careful of your breasts.
Don`t ever squeeze or bruise them.
And give them monthly tests.
So I heeded all their warnings,
And protected them by law.
Guarded them very carefully,
And I always wore my bra.
After 30 years of astute care,
My doctor found a lump.
She ordered up a mammogram,
To look inside that bump.
"Stand up very close" she said.
As she got my boob in line,
"And tell me when it hurts" she said.
"Ah yes! There, that`s fine.
She stepped upon a pedal.
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate pressed down and down,
My boob was in a vise!
My skin was stretched and stretched,
From way up under my chin.
My poor boob was being squashed,
To Swedish pancake thin.
Excruciating pain I felt.
Within it`s vice-like grip.
A prisoner in this viscous thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath" she said to me,
Who does she think she`s kidding?
My chest is mashed in her machine,
And woozy I am getting.
"There, that was good," I heard her say
As the room was slowly swaying.
"Now, let`s have a go at the other one."
Lord have mercy I was praying.
It squeezed me from up and down.
It squeezed me from both sides.
I`ll bet she`s never had this done,
Not to her tender little hide!
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now.
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have popped, "ker-pow!"
This machine was created by a man,
Of this, I have no doubt.
I`d like to stick his balls in there,
And see how they come out!
Rating : 4.56, 9 votes.
Reviews : 49 [add review]
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