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Coffee addiction
Jokers
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You know you are addicted to coffee if ... -You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. -You sleep with your eyes open. -You have to watch videos in fast-forward. -The only time you`re standing still is during an earthquake. -You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer. -You`ve worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week. -Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. -You chew on other people`s fingernails. -The nurse needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse. -You`re so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas. -You can type sixty words per minute with your feet. -You can jump-start your car without cables. -You don`t sweat, you percolate. -You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it`s not plugged in. -You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them. -You`ve built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers. -People get dizzy just watching you. -Instant coffee takes too long. -You channel surf faster without a remote. -You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. -You can outlast the Energizer bunny. -You short out motion detectors. -You don`t even wait for the water to boil anymore. -Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale. -You help your dog chase its tail. -You soak your dentures in coffee overnight. -Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hookup. -You ski uphill. -You get a speeding ticket even when you`re parked. -You answer the door before people knock. -You haven`t blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
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