aFunnyStuff.com archive
Jokes Humor stories Pictures Videos Funny News Games

Home  |  Bookmark us  |  Submit / Upload  |   |  Random stuff  |  RSS feed  |  Funny sites(add)  |  About  |  Terms  |  Privacy  |  Contact us
Funny stuff
» Funny pictures
Funny pics gallery
Forum pics 130
Funny pics mix 6
Funny pictures 2714
Optical illusions 37
» Funny videos
Funny clips gallery
Banned videos 53
Extreme videos 203
Funny animals 101
Funny cartoons 85
Funny cats 74
Funny dogs 85
Funny videos 8996
Home made videos 33
Music videos 69
Parodies 28
Pranks 156
Sexy videos 89
Sport videos 175
Stupid videos 160
Wierd videos 6
» Funny news
Funny news 31635
News funnies 23
» Free Games
Games gallery
Action games 844
Cartoons 62
Casino games 39
Classic arcade 254
Fighting games 81
Free games 1799
Logic games 170
Photo puzzles 593
Racing games 201
RPG games 45
Shooting games 452
Sport games 333
Strategy games 196
» Funny jokes
Adult jokes 1626
Animal jokes 289
Bar jokes 620
Blonde jokes 1361
Bumper stickers 40
Computer jokes 430
Dirty jokes 239
Ethnic jokes 319
Funny Facts 1490
Gay jokes 117
Gender jokes 69
Holiday jokes 168
Humor jokes 819
Insults 4294
Insults jokes 114
Jokers 160
Lawyer jokes 530
Medical jokes 297
One liners 704
Police jokes 6
Politics jokes 304
Redneck jokes 473
Religious jokes 625
Work jokes 75
Yo mama jokes 127
» Humor stories
Funny poems 15
Funny stories 343
» Sounds
Funny audio 338
Sound boards 80
Funny sitesFunny sites
Uber Humor


  Jokes > Adult jokes : Making love to a woman

Making love to a woman


Adult jokes Rating : 4.00, 3 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

MAKING COFFEE
Making a cup of coffee is like making love to a beautiful woman. It`s got to be hot. You`ve got to take your time. You`ve got to stir.. gently, and firmly.
You`ve got to grind your beans until they squeak. And then you put in the milk.
LAYING A CARPET
Laying a carpet is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
You check the dimensions, lay her out on the floor, pin her down, nail her, then walk all over her. If you`re adventurous - like me - you might like to try an underlay.
HANGING WALLPAPER
Well, hanging wallpaper is also very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
Clean all the relevant surfaces, spread her out on the table, cover her with paste, and stick her up. Then you clean your brush, light your pipe, stand back and admire your handiwork.
PUTTING UP A TENT
Putting up a tent, is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
You rent her, unzip the door, put up your pole an`.. slip in to the old bag.
WASHING A CAR
Washing a car, is very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
You`ve got to caress the bodywork. Breathe softly and gently. And give every inch of it your loving attention. And make sure you`ve got a nice wet sponge.
BEING IN THERAPY
And yet, having therapy is very much like making love to a beautiful woman. You.. get on the couch, string `em along with some half-lies and evasions, probe some deep dark holes, and then hand over all your money.
BEING IN A CRASH
Going to the brink of death and back, in a nine car pile-up on a dual carriage-way, is.. very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
First of all, brace yourself, hold on tight - particularly if it`s a rear-ender. And pray you make contact with her twin airbags as soon as possible.
GOING FISHING
Going fishing was very much like making love to a beautiful woman.
First of all, clean and inspect your tackle, carefully pull back your rod cover, and remove any dirt or gunge that may have built up whilst not in use. Then, extend your rod to its full length, and check that there are no kinks or any wear. Particularly at the base, where the grip is usually applied.
Make sure you`ve got a decent float, the appropriate bait, and that there`s plenty of shot in your bag.


Rate this joke (settings)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Rating : 4.00, 3 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

Previous joke [ Adult jokes index ] Next joke
Previous joke [ jokes index ] Next joke

More : Popular jokes | Most reviewed jokes | Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke : Reviews : 0, Rating : 4.00, 3 votes.


Post your review!

Name  :
Email   :
Rate    :
Text    : URLs cannot be posted here
           
Cool sites



Random jokes
In ancient England a person could not have sex unless you had consent of the King... Read this joke...
The average single man is one inch shorter than the average married man... Read this joke...

Random joke
Q: How did the blonde break Her arm?A: she fell out of a tree while she was raking leaves... Read this joke...
You design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit... Read this joke...


Friend Finder



Random Funny stuff

Why did it take the blonde a whole week to wash three basement windows?It took him six days just to dig the holes to put the ladder in... Read this joke...

Random pics
Forum pics : Wow! You are a real smartass!

aFunnyStuff.com archive
Use parental controls to protect your kids : Wikipedia | Battle.