|
|
|
Excuses for missing work
Work jokes
Rating : 5.00, 1 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
I can`t come in to work today because I`ll be stalking my previous boss, who fired me for not showing up for work. OK?
When I got up this morning, I took two Ex-lax in addition to my Prozac. I can`t get off the john, but I feel good about it.
I can`t come to work today because the EPA has determined that my house is completely surrounded by wetlands and I have to arrange for helicopter transportation.
If it is all the same to you I won`t be coming in to work. The voices told me to clean all the guns today.
I have a rare case of 48-hour projectile leprosy, but I know we have that deadline to meet.
Constipation has made me a walking time bomb.
I just found out that I was switched at birth. Legally, I shouldn`t come to work, knowing my employee records may now contain false information.
The psychiatrist said it was an excellent session. He even gave me this jaw restraint so I won`t bite things when I am startled.
The dog ate my car keys. We`re going to hitchhike to the vet.
I prefer to remain an enigma.
I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop, reliving Sunday (right up until the explosion). I was able to exit the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source exactly elog (pi) on all the clocks in the house while simultaneously rapping my dog on the snout with a rolled up Times. Accordingly, I will be in late, or early
Rating : 5.00, 1 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
Previous joke
[ Work jokes index ]
Next joke
Previous joke
[ jokes index ]
Next joke
More :
Popular jokes |
Most reviewed jokes |
Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke :
Reviews : 0, Rating : 5.00, 1 votes.
Post your review!
| |
|
|
|
Random jokes |
A couple of slates short of a full roof... Read this joke...
You`re acquitting yourself in such a way that no jury ever would... Read this joke...
|
|
Random joke |
What`s hard and hairy on the outside, soft and wet in the middle, starts with a "C" and ends with a "T"?A coconut... Read this joke...
Would you like to replace my business partner who died this morning? I`ll arrange it with the undertaker... Read this joke...
|
|
Random Funny stuff
Did you know that lots of lawyers put copies of their JD degrees on their dashboards?That way they get to park in the spots reserved for the handicapped... Read this joke...
Random pics
|
|
Funny stuff