Pearly gates-1
Religious jokes
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A guy arrives at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted. St. Peter is reading through the Big Book to see if the guy`s name is written in it.
After several minutes, St. Peter closes the book, furrows his brow, and says, "I`m sorry, I don`t see your name written in the Book."
"How current is your copy?" he asks.
"I get a download every ten minutes," St. Peter replies, "why do you ask?"
"I`m embarrassed to admit it, but I was always the stubborn type. It was not until my death was imminent that I cried out to God, so my name probably hasn`t arrived to your copy yet."
"I`m glad to hear that," Pete says, "but while we`re waiting for the update to come through, can tell me about a really good deed that you did in your life?"
The guys thinks for a moment and says, "Humm, well there was this one time when I was driving down a road and I saw a group of biker gang members harassing this poor girl.
I slowed down, and sure enough, there they were, about 20 of them harassing this poor woman.
Infuriated, I got out my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked up to the leader of the gang. He was a huge guy, 6-foot-4, 260 pounds, with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ears.
As I walked up to the leader, the bikers formed a circle around me and told me to get lost or I`d be next."
"So I ripped the leader`s chain out of his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron.
Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, "Leave this poor innocent girl alone! You`re all a bunch of SICK, deranged animals! Go home before I really teach you a lesson in PAIN!"
St. Peter, duly impressed, says "Wow! When did this happen?"
"About three minutes ago."
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