3 men into heaven
Religious jokes
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It was getting a little crowded in heaven, so God decided to change the admittance policy.
The new law was that, in order to get into heaven, you had to have a real bummer of a day when you died. The policy would go into effect at noon the next day.
The next day at 12:01, the first person comes to the gates of heaven.
The angel at the gate, remembering the new policy, promptly says to the man,
`Before I let you in, I need you to tell me how your day was going when you died.`
`No problem,` the man says. `I came home to my 25th floor apartment in my lunch hour and caught my wife half-naked and appearing to be having an affair, but Her lover was nowhere in sight. I immediately began searching for him. My wife was yelling at me as I searched the entire apartment. Just as I was about to give
up, I happened to glance out onto the balcony and noticed that there was a man hanging off the edge by his fingertips! The nerve of that guy!
`Well, I ran out onto the balcony and stomped on his fingers until he fell to the ground. But wouldn`t you know it, he landed in some trees and bushes that broke his fall and he didn`t die. This ticked me off even more. In a rage, I went back inside to get the first thing I could get my hands on to throw at him. Oddly enough, the first thing I thought of was the refrigerator. I unplugged it, pushed it out onto the balcony, and tipped it over the side. It plummeted 25 storeys and crushed him! The excitement of the moment was so great that I had a heart attack and died almost instantly.`
The angel sits back and thinks for a moment. Technically, the guy did have a bad day. It was a crime of passion. So, the angel announces,
`OK sir. Welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,` and lets him in.
A few seconds later the next guy comes up.
`Before I can let you in, I need to hear about what your day was like when you died.`
The man says, `No problem. But you`re not going to believe this. I was on the balcony of my 26th floor apartment doing my daily exercises. I had been under a lot of pressure so I was really pushing hard to relieve my stress. I guess I got a little carried away, slipped, and accidentally fell over the side!
`Luckily, I was able to catch myself by the fingertips on the balcony below mine. But all of a sudden this crazy man comes running out of his apartment, starts cussing, and stomps on my fingers. Well of course I fell. I hit some trees and bushes at the bottom that broke my fall so I didn`t die right away. As I`m laying there face up on the ground, unable to move, and in excruciating pain, I see this guy push his refrigerator of all things off the balcony. It falls the 25 floors and lands on top of me, killing me instantly.`
The angel is quietly laughing to himself as the man finishes his story.
`I could get used to this new policy,` he thinks to himself. `Very well,` the angel announces, `welcome to the Kingdom of Heaven,` and he lets the man enter.
A few seconds later, a third man comes up to the gate. The angel is warming up to his task.
`OK, please tell me what it was like the day you died.`
The man says, `OK, picture this. I`m naked inside this refrigerator.. .`
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