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Southern comments
Redneck jokes
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Exclamations:
"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"
"Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit."
Threats:
"I`ll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outtastyle."
"This`ll jar your preserves."
"Don`t you be makin` me open a can o` whoop-ass on ya!"
Good Things/Compliments:
"Cute as a sack full of puppies."
"If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."
"Gooder than grits."
The Weather:
"It`s so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."
"It`s been hotter`n a goat`s butt in a pepper patch."
Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."
Descriptions:
A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can`t thump off."
When something is bad then you say, "that ain`t no count."
If something is hard to do, it`s "like trying to herd cats."
"He ran like His feet was on fire and His ass was catchin."
A hectic schedule keeps you "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor."
Insults:
"She`s uglier than homemade soap."
"Your momma`s so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said `To be continued.`"
"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."
"Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits."
"The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead"
Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart."
Example: "She`s dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."
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