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You might be a republican . . .
Politics jokes
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You might be a Republican if. . .
You`ve tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if
people were allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.
You`ve ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or
ethnic minority here) friend."
You`re a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.
You`ve ever referred to the moral fiber of something.
You`ve ever uttered the phrase, "Why don`t we just bomb the
sons of bitches."
You`ve ever called a secretary or waitress "Honey."
You don`t think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you
watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense.
You don`t let your kids watch Sesame Street because you
accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance."
You use any of these terms to describe your wife: Old ball
and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit. . .
You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love.
You`ve argued that art has a "moral foundation set in
Western values."
You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in
1969.
You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever
attacks your home.
Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you.
You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end
of racism in America.
You`ve ever said "Clean air? Looks clean to me."
You`ve ever referred to Anita Hill as a "lying bitch" while
attending a Bob Packwood fund-raiser.
You spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Curve."
You`ve ever called education a luxury.
You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle.
You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable.
You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero"
sticker.
You`re afraid of the "liberal media."
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition
dictates."
You`ve ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a
bunch of pornographers.
You think all artists are gay.
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a
trash can because he is lazy and doesn`t want to contribute
to society."
You`ve ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their
bootstraps, when they don`t even have shoes.
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