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Clintonio, a political opera
Politics jokes
Rating : 3.40, 10 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
CLINTONIO A POLITICAL OPERA:
Act 1.
The Situation: Bill Clinton has been elected President of
the United States by an overwhelming margin. The Republicans
are devastated, angry and
are trying to find their way back to power.
As the curtain rises on the opera, the House Republicans are
meeting with Ken Starr with the object of trying to find a
way to remove Bill Clinton from the Presidency.
The opening chorale "We Must Find a Way" (Creatio
grandissimo flooz scandala) is sung as a sextet. In an
impressive recitative, Tom Delay sings "Where Will We find a
Helper?" (Dredgi uppulia una Granda Bimba). The House
Republicans exit.
Paula Jones enters stage right with a mirror, singing her
plaintive "Why Can`t I find a Man?" (Mi Schnoz es humongo.)
Tom Delay and Newt Gingrich enter from the other wing. They
spot Paula and sing the duet "Why Not Her?" (La Flooza
perfetta). They meet and take Paula to a small cafe where
they hatch their plot in hushed tones.
Paula tells them of her meeting in a hotel with Clinton
years earlier and how her fortunes have collapsed since then.
Delay and Gingrich offer to help. They sing the aria, "Your
Luck has Changed" (Nozjobbo es rewardo).
Act 2.
The House Republicans reconvene with the news of Paula`s
revelations. They sing in jubilation "We must Tell the World"
(Phono tabloido). The rear
curtain raises to reveal the Chorus of Media who sing the
chorale, "Tell Us More, But Only the Truth" (Sexio scandala
hypo sweepi).
Gingrich enters with Pat Robertson. They sing the duet "He
Must Go" (Hypocriti pious crappola).
Robertson offers to make time on his television program to
expose the charges. At the House Republicans` suggestion,
Paula initiates a lawsuit.
The Jones scandal becomes the topic of conversation
throughout the country.
The Chorus of Lawyers enters from the right to sing the
jubilant grand chorale "We Must do Our Duty" (Multi, multi
grande moolah).
Ken Starr meets with the House Republicans to plan the next
steps. They sing the aria "We Will Save the Country" (Sleezi
connivo).
Starr promises to convene a grand jury which will send
charges to the Congress He sings "The Truth Will be Known"
(Whitewater non starto, probo la flooz epidemio). The Chorus
of Lawyers sings a reprise of "We Must Do Our Duty" as the
act ends.
Act 3.
Linda Tripp enters the stage arm in arm with Ken Starr. She
is wearing a headset. She is singing "Monica is My Dearest
Friend" (Mi es la
wiccida witchi occidenta). She tells Starr about the secret
tapes that she has made of conversations with Monica
Lewinsky. Starr takes them from her and sings "We`ve Got Him
Now" (Presidente droppo pantaloni). Starr hurries off to the
Grand Jury to call Monica as a witness.
Monica enters the grand jury room where the Chorus of
lawyers asks her questions. They sing the recitative "How Did
It happen?" (Panti thongo, la flashi). Monica in the long
passionate aria "We Were Meant for Each Other" (Non smoko El
Pruducto, phalli symboglio).
In the third scene, Hillary and Bill are sitting in the
Lincoln bedroom talking about the revelations about Monica.
Hillary sings "I Will Stand ByYou" (Tu jercho estupido, mi
removo su equippamento). Bill replies with "She Was the Only
One" (non conto Gennifer, Paula, piu multi bimba forgetta).
They embrace.
Act 4.
Sam Donaldson is interviewing Henry Hyde in the Capitol
Building. The chorus of Lawyers hums in the background. Hyde
sings the aria "We Believe in
Something (Impeaccho hippi bastardo). Donaldson sings a
recitative in answer, "We Only Want the Truth" (Toupee
eslippo).
The great trial begins in the Senate. Trent Lott reacts to
public opinion polls showing that the President has a 76%
approval rating with the public with the poignant aria,"What
is Right is Not Popular" (Partia Repubblico committini
suicido).
TheChorus of Lawyers sings the chorale "Principles Come
First" (Mi adultero non conto).
With great flourish, Henry Hyde, Bill McCullom and Tom Delay
stand before the Senate to present their case. They sing the
somber trio "How Can you Not Convict?" (Evidenso multi
flimsioso).
Finally in a moving chorale, the Chorus Of Lawyers sings
"For the Good of the Nation, We Must Acquit." (Senato non
stupido.) After the vote is announced, Henry Hyde, Tom Delay,
Trent Lott and Bill McCollum leave the Senate Chamber singing
the grand quartet "We Still Know theTruth"
(Wasto multi millioni) as the act ends.
Epilogue.
The President sings the contrite aria "I am Very Sorry"
(Revengo futuro) as the Chorus of Media circles him, shouting
their questions. They sing "Who will now Believe us?"
(Publicca degustanta es in media).
Monica Lewinsky crosses the stage with her new literary
agent, Ken Starr. They sing "It is Still Not Over" (Publishi
grande bucchi, dollare millioni) as the curtain falls.
Rating : 3.40, 10 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
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