|
|
|
Steven wright 12
One liners
Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
If you`re not part of the solution, you`re part of the precipitate.
[Referring to a glass of water] I mixed this myself. Two parts H, one part O. I don`t trust anybody!
They say we`re 98% water. We`re that close to drowning... [Picks up his glass of water from the stool...] I like to live on the edge...
I bought some powdered water, but I don`t know what to add to it.
I was born by Cesarean section... But not so you`d notice. It`s just that when I leave a house, I go out through the window.
When I was a baby, I kept a diary. Recently, I was rereading it. It said, "Day 1 -- Still tired from the move. Day 2 -- Everybody talks to me like I`m an idiot." I was upset because on my second birthday, I went from being one to being two, and my age doubled in a year. I figured at this rate, by the time I`m six, I`ll be ninety.
When I was little, my grandfather used to make me stand in a closet for five minutes without moving. He said it was elevator practice.
I didn`t get a toy train like the other kids. I got a toy subway instead. You couldn`t see anything, but every now and then you`d hear this rumbling noise go by.
When I was a kid, I went to the store and asked the guy, "Do you have any toy train schedules?"
Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
[ One liners index ]
Next joke
Previous joke
[ jokes index ]
Next joke
More :
Popular jokes |
Most reviewed jokes |
Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke :
Reviews : 0, Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Post your review!
| |
|
|
|
Random jokes |
Leonard desperately wanted to become a doctor and had really crammed for his medical boards, so he wasn`t in the least fazed by the question: "Name the three advantages of breast milk... Read this joke...
Don`t you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?... Read this joke...
|
|
Random joke |
A woman`s garden is growing beautifully but the darn tomatoes won`t ripen... Read this joke...
A Rabbi and a Priest are driving one day and, by a freak accident, have a head-on collision with tremendous force... Read this joke...
|
|
Random Funny stuff
Things you`ll never hear at a Nascar Race"None for me, thanks... Read this joke...
Random pics
|
|
Funny stuff