|
|
|
Steven wright 10
One liners
Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
So I figured I`d leave the area, because I had no ties there anyway except for this girl I was seeing. We had conflicting attitudes: I really wasn`t into meditating and she wasn`t really into being alive. I told her I knew when I was going to die because my birth certificate has an expiration date.
I can remember the first time I had to go to sleep. Mom said, "Steven, time to go to sleep." I said, "But I don`t know how." She said, "It`s real easy. Just go down to the end of tired and hang a left." So I went down to the end of tired, and just out of curiosity I hung a right. My mother was there, and she said "I thought I told you to go to sleep."
I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it`s going to be up all night.
My girlfriend`s so intense... She woke me up the other night and asked, "If you could tell exactly when and how you were going to die, would you want to know?" "Heck no," I said, "Why?" "Doesn`t matter, just go back to sleep..."
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said, "No, I made a few mistakes."
I was trying to daydream, but my mind kept wandering.
One night I walked home very late and fell asleep in somebody`s satellite dish. My dreams showed up on TVs all over the world.
I was once arrested for walking in someone else`s sleep.
It`s a good apartment because they allow pets. I have a Shetland pony named Nikkie. Last summer Nikkie was involved in a bizarre electrolysis accident. All her hair was removed except for her tail. Now I rent her out to Hare Krishna family picnics.
Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
[ One liners index ]
Next joke
Previous joke
[ jokes index ]
Next joke
More :
Popular jokes |
Most reviewed jokes |
Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke :
Reviews : 0, Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Post your review!
| |
|
|
|
Random jokes |
Two women were sitting in the doctor`s waiting room comparing notes on their various disorders... Read this joke...
How do Chinese say, "69er?"Tu-can-chu... Read this joke...
|
|
Random joke |
A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag of money... Read this joke...
How's your momma? We went out! Hey, I'm on the INTERNET!!! What's up to all the ladies ... Read this joke...
|
|
Random Funny stuff
Any friend of yours -- is a friend of yours... Read this joke...
Random pics
|
|
Funny stuff