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Steven wright 04
One liners
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It`s a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they`d just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
When I die, I`m leaving my body to science fiction.
I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I`m going to buy some sugar."
I saw a bank that said "24 Hour Banking", but I don`t have that much time.
I went to the museum where they had all the heads and arms from the statues that are in all the other museums.
I like to go to art museums and name the untitled paintings. .. Boy With Pail. .. Kitten On Fire.
One time I went to a museum where all the work in the museum had been done by children. They had all the paintings up on refrigerators.
Last time I went to the movies I was thrown out for bringing my own food. My argument was that the concession stand prices are outrageous. Besides, I haven`t had a Bar-B-Que in a long time.
One time I went to a drive-in in a taxi cab. The movie cost me $95.
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