|
|
|
Actual doctor's notes
Medical jokes
Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
These are doctors` notes on patients` charts: (Actual notes
- unedited!)
1. Patient has chest pain if she lies on Her left side for
over a year.
2. On the 2nd day the knee was better and on the 3rd day it
disappeared completely.
3. She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but Her husband
states she was very hot in bed last night.
4. The patient has been depressed ever since she began
seeing me in 1993.
5. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also
appears to be depressed.
6. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
7. Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally
alert but forgetful.
8. The patient refused an autopsy.
9. The patient has no past history of suicides.
10. Patient has left His white blood cells at another
hospital.
11. Patient`s past medical history has been remarkably
insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past
three days.
12. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for
lunch.
13. Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady
pregnant.
14. Since she can`t get pregnant with Her husband, I thought
you might like to work Her up.
15. She is numb from Her toes down.
16. While in the ER, she was examined, X-rated and sent
home.
17. The skin was moist and dry.
18. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
19. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
20. Rectal exam revealed a normal size thyroid. (ouch!)
21. She stated that she had been constipated for most of
her adult life, until she got a divorce.
22. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for
physical therapy.
23. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and
accommodation.
24. Exam of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.
25. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
26. The patient was to have a bowel resection. However, he
took a job as a stockbroker instead.
27. Skin: Somewhat pale but present.
28. The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.
29. Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who
felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
30. Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
Patient has two teenage children, but no other
abnormalities.
Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
Previous joke
[ Medical jokes index ]
Next joke
Previous joke
[ jokes index ]
Next joke
More :
Popular jokes |
Most reviewed jokes |
Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke :
Reviews : 0, Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Post your review!
| |
|
|
|
Random jokes |
You`re so fat when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the HOUSE... Read this joke...
What do you call a prostitute covered in tattoos?The Scenic Route... Read this joke...
|
|
Random joke |
A man walks into a bar and sits down... Read this joke...
First Lady Hillary Clinton and Attorney General Janet Renowere having one of those girl to girl talks, and Hillary saysto Janet, "You`re lucky that you don`t have to put up withmen having sex with you... Read this joke...
|
|
Random Funny stuff
A man had six children and was very proud of his achievement... Read this joke...
Random pics
|
|
Funny stuff