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Women's instructions
Dirty jokes
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WOMEN`S COMPACT INSTRUCTION BOOK
Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
Remember you are known by the idiot you accompany.
Don`t imagine you can change a man - unless he`s in diapers.
What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
If they can put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all there.
Tell him you`re not his type - you have a pulse.
Never let your man`s mind wander - its too little to be left out alone.
Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
Never marry a man for money. You`ll have to earn every penny.
Definition of a bachelor: A man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.
If he asks what sort of books you`re interested in, tell him check books.
A man`s idea of serious commitment is usually, "Oh all right, I`ll stay the night".
Women sleep with men who, if they were women, they wouldn`t even have bothered to have lunch with.
Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means you laugh at his.
If he asks you if you if you`re faking it tell him no, you`re just practicing.
When he asks you if he`s your first tell him, "You may be, you look familiar."
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