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AACAlter All CommandsAADAlter All DataAAOAdd And OverflowAARAlter At RandomABAdd BackwardsABCAlphaBetize CodeABRAdd Beyond RangeACCAdvance CPU ClockACDCAllow Controller to Delete ContentsACDPAllow Controller to Die PeacefullyACQTAdvance Clock to Quitting TimeADBAnother Dumb BugAEEAbsolve Engineering ErrorsAFFAdd Fudge FactorAFHBAlign Fullword on Halfword BoundaryAFPAbnormalize Floating PointAFRAbort Funny RoutineAFVCAdd Finagle`s Variable ConstantAGBAdd GarBageAGWAAdd and Get Wrong AnswerAIAdd ImproperAIBAttack Innocent BystanderAIBAttack Innocent BystandersAISGAccess and Improve Student GradeAMMAdd Mayo and MustardAMMAnswer My MailAMSAdd Memory to SystemANCANnoy ConsultantAOIAnnoy Operator ImmediateARAdvance RudelyARAlter RealityARNAdd and Reset to Non-zeroARNAdd and Reset to NonzeroARZAdd and Reset to ZeroASAdd SidewaysASQGSAASCII Stupid Question, Get a Stupid ANSIATAccumulate TriviaAWPArgue With ProgrammerAWTTAssemble With Tinker ToysBABranch AnywhereBACBranch to Alpha CentauriBADBranch And DieBADBranch to Auto DestructBAFBlow All FusesBAHBranch And HangBALCBranch And Link CheeseburgerBAPBranch And PuntBAWBells And WhistlesBBBranch on BugBBBBByte Baudy Bit and BranchBBBFBranch on Bit Bucket FullBBDBranch on Bastille DayBBIBranch on Burned-out IndicatorBBILBranch on Burned-out Indicator LightBBLBBranch on Blinking Light BulbBBTBranch on Binary TreeBBWBranch Both WaysBCBBurp and Clear BytesBCFBranch on Chip box FullBCILBranch Creating Infinite LoopBCRBackspace Card ReaderBCSBranch and Crash SystemBCUBe Cruel and UnusualBDBackspace DiskBDBranch to DataBDCBreak Down and CryBDIBranch to Data IndirectBDMBranch and Disconnect MemoryBDTBurn Data TreeBDUBranch on Dense UserBEBranch EverywhereBEWBranch Either WayBFBelch FireBFBlow FuseBFBranch ForeverBFDBranch on Full DiskBFFBranch and Form FeedBFMBe Fruitful and MultiplyBHBranch and HangBIRBranch Inside RanchBIRMBranch on Index Register MissingBLCBranch and Loop ContinuousBLIBranch and Loop InfiniteBLMBranch, Like, MaybeBLMWMBranch, Like, Maybe, Wow, ManBLPBoot from Line PrinterBLRBranch and Lose ReturnBLSHBuy Low, Sell HighBLTBreak Little ThingBMBranch MaybeBMIBlow up Memory ImmediateBMIBranch on Missing IndexBMIBranch to Muncee ImmediateBMPBranch and Make PopcornBMRBranch Multiple RegistersBMUSBeam Me Up, ScottyBNABranch to Nonexistant AddressBNCBBranch and Never Come BackBNLBecome a Neo-LudditeBNRBranch for No ReasonBOBBranch On BugBODBeat On DiskBODBranch on Operator DesperateBOHBranch On HumidityBOHBranch on Operator HighBOHPBribe Operator for Higher PriorityBOIByte Operator ImmediatelyBOPBoot OPeratorBOTBranch On TreeBPBBranch on Program BugBPDIBe Polite, Don`t InterruptBPIMBury Programmer In ManualsBPLBranch PLeaseBPMBecome a Psych MajorBPOBranch on Power OffBPOBranch on Power OnBPPBranch and Pull the PlugBRByte and RunBRABranch to Random AddressBRBBRanch on BeaverBRHBRanch and HangBRIBRanch IndefinitelyBRLBRanch and LeakBROBRanch and OverheatBROBRanch to OblivionBSBehave StrangelyBSCBranch on Second ComingBSCBurst Selector ChannelBSDBackSpace DiskBSIBack up Sewer ImmediateBSIBackup Sewer ImmediatelyBSMBranch and Scramble MemoryBSOBranch on Sleepy OperatorBSPBackSpace PunchBSRBranch and Stomp RegistersBSSBranch on SunSpotBSSTBackSpace and Stretch TapeBTDBranch on Time of DayBTDByte The DustBTIBlow Trumpet ImmediatelyBTJBranch and Turn JapaneseBTOBranch To OblivionBTWBranch on Third WednesdayBUBranch UnexpectedlyBUTIBlow Up Terminal ImmediatelyBVSBranch and Veer SouthBWBranch on WhimBWCBranch When ConvenientBWFBusy, Wait ForeverBWOPBeWilder OPeratorBYDSBeware Your Dark SideBYTEBYte TEstCACCalling All CarsCACCash And CarryCAFConvert ASCII to FarsiiCAICorrupt Accounting InformationCAILCrash After I LeaveCARCancel Accounts ReceivableCATConfused And TiredCBConsult BozoCBACompare and Branch AnywayCBBRCrash and Blow Boot Read-only memoryCBNCClose, But No CigarCBSClobber BootStrapCCCall CalveryCCCompliment CoreCCBChocolate Chip Byte-modeCCBConsult Crystal BallCCCCrash if Carry ClearCCCPConditionally Corrupt Current ProcessCCDChoke Cough and DieCCDClear Core and DumpCCRChange Channels at RandomCCSChinese Character SetCCWRChange Color of Write RingCDComplement DiskCDCClear Disk and CrashCDCClose Disk CoverCDIOOAZCalm Down, It`s Only Ones And ZeroesCDSChange Disk SpeedCEMUClose Eyes and Monkey with User spaceCEXCall EXterminatorCFCome From [replaces goto]CFECall Field EngineerCFPChange and Forget PasswordCFSCorrupt File StructureCGConvert to GarbageCHCreate HavocCHCJCompare Haig to Christine JorgensenCHPAMRCHase Pointers Around Machine RoomCHSECompare Half-words and Swap if EqualCIBChange Important ByteCICCash In ChipsCIDCompare and Ignore DataCIMMCreate Imaginary Memory MapCIZClear If ZeroCLBRCLoBber RegisterCLBRICLoBber Register ImmediateCMCirculate MemoryCMDCPU Melt DownCMDCompare Meaningless DataCMIClobber Monitor ImmediateCMLCompute Meaning of LifeCMPCreate Memory ProsthesisCMSClick MicroSwitchCNCompare NonsensicallyCNBCause Nervous BreakdownCNSCall Nonexistent SubroutineCOCSCopy Object Code to SourceCODCrash On DemandCOLBCrash for Operator`s Lunch BreakCOMClear Operator`s MindCOMFCOMe FromCONCall Operator NowCOSCopy Object code to Source fileCOWYHUCome Out With Your Hands UpCPCompliment ProgrammerCP%FKMCPU (em FlaKeout ModeCP%WMCPU (em Weird ModeCPBCreate Program BugCPNCall Programmer NamesCPPRCrumple Printer Paper and RipCRASHContinue Running After Stop or HaltCRBCRash and BurnCRDConfirm Rumor by DenialCRMCReate MemoryCRMClear Random MemoryCRNCompare with Random NumberCRNConvert to Roman NumeralsCRYPTreCuRsive encrYPt TapeCSCrash SystemCSLCurse and Swear LoudlyCSNCall Supervisor NamesCSNIOCrash System on Next I/OCSSCrash Subsidiary SystemsCSUCall Self UnconditionalCTDMRChange Tape Density, Mid RecordCTTCall Time and TemperatureCUConvert to UnaryCUCCheat Until CaughtCVFLConVert Floating to LogicalCVFPConVert Fortran to PascalCVGConVert to GarbageCVUConVert to UnaryCWAHCreate Woman And HoldCWBCarry With BorrowCWDCCut Wires and Drop CoreCWGChase Wild GooseCWGKCompare Watt to Genghis KhanCWITCompare Watt to Ivan the TerribleCWMCompare Watt to MussoliniCWOMComplement Write-Only MemoryCZZCConvert Zone to Zip CodeDADevelop AmnesiaDABDelete All BugsDACDivide And ConquerDADDestroy A-DiskDAODivide And OverflowDAPDe-select Active PeripheralDAUFDelete All Useless FilesDBDrop BitsDBLDesegregate Bus LinesDBRDeBase RegisterDBTPDrop Back Ten and PuntDBZDivide By ZeroDCDegauss CoreDCDivide and ConquerDCADDump Core And DieDCDDrop Cards DoubleDCGCDump Confusing Garbage to ConsoleDCIDisk Crash ImmediateDCONDisable CONsleDCRDouble-precision CRashDCTDrop Cards TripleDDDestroy DiskDDDrop DiskDDCDally During CalculationsDDOADrop Dead On AnswerDDSDelaminate Disk SurfaceDDTDebug ProgramDDWBDeposit Directly in Waste BasketDEBDisk Eject BothDECDecompile Executable CodeDEIDisk Eject ImmediateDEMDisk Eject MemoryDFADisable FAnsDGODecrement the Grades of OthersDGTDispense Gin and TonicDHTPLDisk Head Three Point LandingDIADevelop Ineffective AddressDICEDelete Invalid Customer EngineerDIEDIsable EverythingDIFDIsable FusesDIGDIsable GravityDIHDisable Interrupts and HangDIRFODo It Right For OnceDISCDISmount CPUDKDestroy KlingonsDKPDisavow Knowledge of ProgrammerDLNDon`t Look NowDLPDrain Literal PoolDMAGDo MAGicDMNSDo what i Mean, Not what i SayDMPDestroy Memory Protect keyDMPEDecide to Major in Phys. Ed.DMPKDestroy Memory Protect KeyDMZDivide Memory by ZeroDNDDestroy Neighbor`s DataDNPGDo Not Pass GoDODivide and OverflowDODivide and Overflow [IBM PC]DOCDrive Operator CrazyDOVDivide and OVerflowDPDestroy PeripheralsDPCDecrement Program CounterDPCSDecrement Program Counter SecretlyDPKDestroy storage Protect KeyDPMIDeclare Programmer Mentally IncompetentDPNDouble Precision No-opDPRDestroy PRogramDPSDisable Power SupplyDRDetach RootDRAFDRAw FlowchartDRAMDecrement RAMDRBADeposit Round-off in my Bank AccountDRDDRop DeadDRIDisable Random InterruptDROMDestroy ROMDRTDisconnect Random TerminalDSDeadlock SystemDSDDismount System DiskDSIDo Something InterestingDSODisable System OperatorDSPDegrade System PerformanceDSRDetonate Status RegisterDSTDDo Something Totally DifferentDSUITDo Something Utterly, Indescribably TerribleDT%FFPDecTape (em unload and Flappa FlaPDT%SHODecTape (em Spin Hubs OppositeDTBDestructively Test BitDTCDestroy This CommandDTEDecrement Telephone ExtensionDTIDo The ImpossibleDTRTDo The Right ThingDTVFLDestroy Third Variable From LeftDUDump UserDUDDo Until DeadDWDestroy WorldDWIMDo What I MeanDWITDo What I`m ThinkingDWIWDo What I WantEAEnable AnythingEACEmulate Acoustic CouplerEALEnable AC to Logic rackEAOEnable AC to OperatorEBBEdit and Blank BufferEBBEmpty Bit BucketEBRErase Before ReadingEBRSEmit Burnt Resistor SmellECEat CardECFExplode and Catch FireECLEarly Care LaceECOElectrocute Computer OperatorECPErase Card PunchEDEject DiskEDExecute DataEDDEat Disk and DieEDITErase Data and Increment TimeEDPEmulate Debugged ProgramEDREmit Deadly RadiationEDRExecute Destructive ReadEDSExecute Data SegmentEEOIFNOExecute Every Other Instruction From Now OnEEPErase Entire ProgramEFBEmulate Five-volt BatteryEFDEject Floppy DiskEFDEmulate Frisbee using Disk packEFEEmulate Fatal ErrorEHCEmulate Headless ChickenEIAElvis Is AliveEIAOExecute In Any OrderEIOErase I/O pageEIOExecute Invalid Op-codeEIOExecute Invalid OpcodeEIOCExecute Invalid Op-CodeEJDEJect DiskEJD%VEJect Disk (em with initial velocity VELPEnter Loop PermenantlyEMEMulate 407EMEvacuate MemoryEMIFErase Most Important FileEMMEmulate More MemoryEMPCEMulate Pocket CalculatorEMSEEdit and Mark Something ElseEMSLEntire Memory Shift LeftEMTElectrocute Maintenance TechnicianEMWEmulate Maytag WasherENAENable AnythingENEENable EverythingENDErase Neighbor`s DataENFEmit Noxious FumesENGENable GravityENOEmulate No-OpEOElectrocute OperatorEOBExecute Operator and BranchEOIExplode On InterruptEOSErase Operating SystemEPExecute ProgrammerEPDExplode Peripheral DeviceEPIExecute Programmer ImmediateEPITSExecute Previous Instruction Then SkipEPLEmulate Phone LineEPPEject Printer PaperEPSElectrostatic Print and SmearEPSExecute Program SidewaysEPSWExecute Program Status WordEPTErase Process TableEPTErase Punched TapeERICEject Random Integrated CircuitERMErase Reserved MemoryEROMErase Read-Only MemoryEROSErase Read-Only StorageEROSErase Read-Only Storage [Everex int]ERSErase Read-only StorageESBEject Selectric BallESCEmulate System CrashESDEject Spinning DishESLExceed Speed of LightESPEnable SPrinkler systemETIExecute This InstructionETMEmulate Trinary MachineETPHE. T. Phone HomeEVCExecute Verbal CommandsEWDEnter Warp DriveEWMEnter Whimsy ModeEXBEXcrement and BranchEXEEXecute EngineerEXIEXecute Invalid operationEXOEXecute OperatorEXOPEXecute OPeratorEXPEXecute ProgrammerEXPPEXecute Political PrisonerFAYFetch Amulet of YendorFBFind BugsFCFry ConsoleFCJFeed Card and JamFCJFeed Cards and JamFDForget DataFDRFeed Disk RandomlyFERAForms Eject and Run AwayFFFForm Feed ForeverFLDFLing DiskFLIFlash Lights ImpressivelyFMForget MemoryFMPFinish My ProgramFOPCFalse Out-of-Paper ConditionFPCFeed Paper ContinuouslyFPTFire Photon TorpedoesFRGFill with Random GarbageFRSFetch Ring of SauronFSFeign SleepFSMFold, Spindle, and MutilateFSRForm Skip and RunawayFSRAForms Skip and Run AwayFYBRFollow Yellow Brick RoadGAPGrade All ProjectsGBBGo to Back of BusGCARGet Correct Answer RegardlessGCRGenerate Confusing ResultsGDPGrin Defiantly at ProgrammerGDRGrab Degree and RunGENTGENerate ThesisGEW{JO}Go to the End of the World {Jump Off}GFDGo Forth and DivideGFMGo Forth and MultiplyGIEGenerate Irreversible ErrorGLGet LostGLCGenerate Lewd CommentGMCGenerate Machine CheckGMCCGenerate Machine Check and CashGNDGuess at Next DigitGORSGO Real SlowGPCRGenerate Petty Cache RequestGRGet RealGREMGenerate Random Error MessageGREPGlobal Ruin, Expiration, and PurgationGRMCGenerate Rubber Machine CheckGSGet StrangeGSBGulp and Store BytesGSIGenerate Spurious InterruptsGSUGeometric Shift UpGTJGo To JailHACHold All CallsHACFHalt And Catch FireHAHHalt And HangHBWHang Bus and WaitHCFHalt and Catch FireHCPHide Central ProcessorHCRSHang in CRitical SectionHDHHi Dee HoHDOHalt and Disable OperatorHDRWHalt and Display Random WordHELPHinder Everyone with Little ProductivityHELPType `No Help Available`HEOHalt and Execute OperatorHFHide FileHGDHalt, Get DrunkHHBHalt and Hang BusHISHalt in Imposible StateHOOHide Operator`s OutputHRPRHang up and Ruin Printer RibbonHSCHalt on System CrashHSJHalt, Skip and JumpHTCHalt and Toss CookiesHTSHalt and Throw SparksHUALHalt Until After LunchHUPHang Up PhoneHWPHalt Without ProvocationIAIllocical AndIAEIgnore All ExceptionsIAIInquire And IgnoreIANDIllogical ANDIARIgnore All RequestsIBInsert BugIBMIncrement and Branch to MunceeIBPInsert Bug and ProceedIBRInsert Bugs at RandomICBInterrupt, Crash and BurnICMImmerse Central MemoryICMDInitiate Core Melt DownICRIncur Costly Repair [Sun Tempest]ICSPInvert Crt Screen PictureIDCInitiate Destruct CommandIDIInvoke Divine InterventionIDNOPInDirect No-OPIDPSIgnore Disk Protect SwitchIEOFIgnore End Of FileIFInvoke ForceIGIIncrement Grade ImmediateIGITIncrement Grade Immediate TwiceIGOIncrement Grade OvernightIHCInitiate Head CrashIHTFPIncrement Hormones, Test For PubertyIIInquire and IgnoreIIBIgnore Inquiry and BranchIICInsert Invisible CharactersIILIrreversable Infinite LoopIMImagine MemoryIMBPInsert Mistake and Blame ProgrammerIMPImitate Monty PythonIMPGIMPress GirlfriendIMVIMpress VisitorsINCAMINCrement Arbitrary MemoryINGINquire and iGnoreINIIgnore Next InstructionINOPIndirect No-OPINRINstigate RumorINWINvalidate WarrantyIOIIgnore Operator`s InstructionIORIllogical ORIOSIgnore Operating SystemIPIncrement and PrayIPIIgnore Previous InstructionIPMIgnore Programmer`s MistakesIPOPInterrupt Processor, Order PizzaIPSIncinerate Power SupplyIPSIncrement Power SupplyIPTIgnite Paper TapeIRBInvert Record and BranchIRBIInsert Random Bits IndexedIRCInsert Random CommandsIREInsert Random ErrorsIRIIgnore Rude InterruptsIRPFInfinite Recursive Page FaultISCIgnore Supervisor CallsISCIgnore System CrashISCInsert Sarcastic CommentsISIIncrement and Skip on InifinityISPIncrement and Skip on PiISTKInvert STacKITMLInitiate Termites into Macro LibraryIUIgnore User[s]IXORIllogical eXclusive ORIZIgnore ZeroesJAAJump Almost AlwaysJBSJump and Blow StackJCIJump to Current InstructionJFMJump on Full MoonJHRBJump to H&R BlockJLPJump and Lose PointerJLRJump and Lose ReturnJMATJuMp on Alternate ThursdaysJNJump to NowhereJNLJump when programmer is Not LookingJOBJump On BeaverJOMJump Out of MemoryJOMJump Over MoonJOPJump OPeratorJPAJump when Pizza ArrivesJRANJump RANdomJRCFJump Relative and Catch FireJRGAJump Relative and Get ArrestedJRLJump to Random LocationJRSRJump to Random SubRoutineJSCJump on System CrashJSORJump Somewhere Over RainbowJSUJump Self UnconditionalJTJump if TuesdayJTTJump and Tangle TapeJTZJump to Twilight ZoneJWNJump When NecessaryKCEKill Consultant on ErrorKCEKill repairman [CE]KDOKnock Disk OverKEPITUKill Every Process In The UniverseKOPKill OPeratorKPKrunch PaperKPRKill PRogrammerKSRKeyboard Shift RightKUDKill User`s DataKWWEKill Wicked Witch of EastKWWWKill Wicked Witch of WestLACLose All CommunicationLAGWLoad And Go WrongLAPLaugh At ProgramLAPLaugh At ProgrammerLCCLoad and Clear CoreLCDLaunch Cartridge DiskLCKLock Console KeyswitchLEBLink Edit BackwardsLIALoad Ineffective AddressLMBLose Message and BranchLMOLoad and Mug OperatorLMYBLogical MaYBeLNLose inode NumberLNPLoad N digits of PiLOSMLog Off System ManagerLP%PASLine Printer (em Print And SmearLP%RDDLine Printer (em Reverse Drum DirectionLP%TCRLine Printer (em Tangle and Chew RibbonLPALead Programmer AstrayLPRTCLoad Program counter from Real Time ClockLRLoad RevolverLRALoad RetroActivelyLRBLose Record and BranchLRDLoad Random DataLSPSWLoad and Scramble PSWLTSLink To SputnikLTSLoop Till SmokesLUMLUbricate MemoryLWELoad WhatEverLWMLoad Write-only MemoryMABMelt Address BusMANMake Animal NoisesMAZMultiply Answer by ZeroMBCMake Batch ConfettiMBFMultiply and Be FruitfulMBHMemory Bank Hold-upMBTDMount Beatles on Tape DriveMBTOLMove Bug To Operator`s LunchMCMove ContinuousMDMove DeviousMDBMove and Drop BitsMDCMake Disk CrashMDDHAFMake Disk Drive Hop Across FloorMFOMount Female OperatorMILIMove It or Lose ItMLBMemory Left shift and BranchMLPMake Lousy ProgramMLPMultiply and Lose PrecisionMLRMove and Lose RecordMMFMelt Main FrameMMLGMake Me Look GoodMNIMisread Next InstructionMOGMake Operator GrowlMOPModify Operator`s PersonalityMPLPMake Pretty Light PatternMRZMake Random ZapMSGDMake Screen Go DimMSPMistake Sign for ParityMSPIMake Sure Plugged InMSRMelt Special RegisterMSTMount Scotch TapeMTEMangle Tape on ExitMTIMake Tape InvalidMUGMake Ugly GraphicsMUMMulti-Use MnemonicsMWMalfunction WheneverMWMultiply WorkMWCMove and Wrap CoreMWTMalfunction Without TellingNBCNegate By ClearingNCWNotch Carriage and WayNMINegate Most IntegersNOPNeedlessly Omit PointerNPCNormalize Program CounterNPNNo Program Necessary [VAX]NTGHNot Tonight, i`ve Got a HeadacheOBBOverflow Bit BucketOCFOpen Circular FileOMCObscene Message to ConsoleOMCOverheat Memory ChipOMLObey Murphy`s LawsOPIOrder Pizza ImmediatelyOPPOrder Pizza for ProgrammerOSIOverflow Stack ImmediateOSIOverflow Stack IndefiniteOSPOpen Six-PackOTLOut To LunchOUOffend UserP$*!Punch ObscenityPAPunch in ASCIIPALPack And LeavePASPrint And SmearPAUDPAUse DramaticallyPAZPack Alpha ZonePAZPack Alpha and drop ZonesPBCPrint and Break ChainPBDPrint and Break DrumPBLPack Bags and LeavePBMPop Bubble MemoryPBPBPBPPlace Backup in Plain Brown Paper Bag PleasePBSTPlay Batch mode Star TrekPCBPause for Coffee BreakPCDPunCh DiskPCIPleat Cards ImmediatePCRPrint and Cut RibbonPCSPush to Centre of StackPDPlay DeadPDPunch DiskPDLDPower Down and Lock Door [to computer room]PDSKPunch DiSKPEHCPunch Extra Holes in CardsPEPPrint on Edge of PaperPFDPunt on Fourth DownPFEPrint Floating EyePFMLPrint Four Million LinesPGPrint GarbagePHOPull Hair OutPIPunch InvalidPIBMPretend to be an IBMPICPrint Illegible CharactersPICPrint Invalid CharacterPICPunch Invalid CharacterPLSCPerform Light Show on ConsolePNIHPlace Needle In HaystackPNRPPrint Nasty Replies to ProgrammerPOPunch OperatorPOCLPunch Out Console LightsPOGPrint Only GreekPOPPop Or PushPOPIPunch OPerator ImmediatePOPNPunch OPerator`s NosePPAPrint Paper AirplanesPPCPurge Pascal Compiler [HP 3000]PPLPerform Perpetual LoopPPPPrint Programmer`s PicturePPRPlay Punk RockPPSWPack Program Status WordPPSWPack Progran Status WordPRSPRint and SmearPSPPrint and Shred PaperPSRPrint and Shred RibbonPTPProduce Toilet PaperPUOPerform Unknown OperationPVLCPunch Variable Length CardPWPPrint Without PaperPWScreate PoWer SurgePYSProgram YourSelfQBDHQuit and Become a DeadHeadQWYAQuit While Your AheadRARandomize AnswerRAMRandomly Access MemoryRAMRead Ambiguous MemoryRANRANdom opcode [similar to 16-bit what gate]RASCRead And Shred CardRASTRead And Shred TapeRAURidicule All UsersRBAORing Bell and Annoy OperatorRBLYRestore Back-up from Last YearRBTRead Blank TapeRBTRewind and Break TapeRCRewind CoreRCAJRead Card And JamRCBRead Command BackwardsRCBRun Clock BackwardsRCCRead Card and ChewRCCPRandomly Corrupt Current ProcessRCFRewind Cabinet FansRCKGRead Count Key and GarbageRCLRotate Carry LeftRCPReschedule Car PaymentsRCRRewind Card ReaderRCRVRandomly Convert to Reverse VideoRCSRead Card and Scramble dataRCSDRead Card and Scramble DataRDRandomize DataRDReverse DirectionsRDARefuse to Disclose AnswerRDBReplace Database with BlanksRDBRun Disk BackwardsRDDReverse Disk DriveRDDBFRock Disk Drive Back and ForthRDEBRead and Drop Even number of BitsRDFRandomize Directory FilenamesRDIReverse Drum ImmediateRDIReverse Drun ImmediateRDIRewind Disk ImmediateRDRReverse Disk RotationRDSReaD SidewaysRENVRREName Variables RandomlyRETRead and Erase TapeRFRead FingerprintsRGRecord GarbageRHNEZRandomize and Halt if Not Equal to ZeroRHORandomize and Hold all OutputRICRotate Illogical thru CarryRIDRead Invalid DataRIGRead Inter-record GapRIOPRotate I/O PortsRIRRead Invalid RecordRIRGRead Inter-Record GapRJEReturn Jump and ExplodeRLCRelocate and Lose CoreRLCReread Last CardRLCRotate Left with CarolynRLIRotate Left IndefinitelyRLPRefill Light PenRLPRewind Line PrinterRMRuin My filesRMIRandomize Memory ImmediateRMMRead Manager`s MindRMTReMove TrapRMVRemove Memory VirtuesRNRead NoiseRNBSReflect Next Bus SignalRNRRead Noise RecordROCRandomize Op CodesROCRotate Outward from CenterRODROtate DiagonallyROMRead Operator`s MindROORub Out OperatorROOPRun Out Of PaperROPFRead Other People`s FilesROSReject Operating SystemROSReturn On ShieldRPRead PrinterRPBRaise Parity BitsRPBRead Print and BlushRPBReverse Parity and BranchRPBRReverse Parity and BRanchRPCRotate Program CounterRPMRead Programmer`s MindRPURead character and Print UpsidedownRRCRotate Random thru CarryRRRRandomly Rotate RegisterRRRRead Record and Run awayRRRRead Record and Run-awayRRRLRandom Rotate Register LeftRRRRRandom Rotate Register RightRRSTCReturn on Ruby Slippers Triple-ClickRRTRecord and Rip TapeRSRandom SlewRSDon Read error Self-DestructRSTRewind and Stretch TapeRSTOMRead from STore-Only MemoryRTReduce ThroughputRTPReduce ThroughPutRTSReturn To SenderRVACReturn from VACationRWCReWind and Crash headsRWCRReWind Card ReaderRWDReWind DiskRWERun Without ErrorRWFRead Wrong FileRWTRead/Write while stretching TapeSAStore AnywhereSADSearch And DestroySAISkip All InstructionsSAKSnooze At KeyboardSASShow Appendix ScarSASSit And SpinSBESwap Bits ErraticallySBFSkip on Bitbucket FullSCScramble ChannelsSCShred CardsSCBSpindle Card and BelchSCCAShort Circuit on Correct AnswerSCDShuffle and Cut DecSCHSlit Cards HorizontalSCIShred Cards ImmediateSCMSet for Crash ModeSCOMSet Cobol-Only ModeSCPSCatter PrinterSCRRCSCRamble Register ContentsSCSTSwitch Channel to Star TrekSCTRStick Card To ReaderSDScramble DirectorySDSlip DiskSDCSpool Disk to ConsoleSDDSeek and Destroy DataSDDSpin Disk DrySDDBSnap Disk Drive BeltSDESolve Differential EquationsSDISelf Destruct ImmediateSDMSearch and Destroy MemorySDRSlam Down Rondo [worst soda ever made]SEBStop Eating and BurpSEOBSet Every Other BitSESURSing Elvis Songs Until he ReturnsSEXSet EXecution registerSEXSign EXtendSFHSet Flags to Half-mastSFPSend For PizzaSFRSend For ReinforcementsSFTStall For TimeSFTTStrip Form Tractor TeethSHABSHift A BitSHABMSHift A Bit MoreSHBStop and Hang BusSHCDSHuffle Card DeckSHONSimulate HONeywell CPU [permanent no-op]SHRSHift RandomSHRCSHRed CardSHRTSHRed TapeSIDSwitch to Infinite DensitySIPStore Indefinite PrecisionSJVScramble Jump VectorsSLPSharpen Light PenSMCScramble Memory ContentsSMDSpontaneous Memory DumpSMRSkip on Meaningless ResultSMSShred Mylar SurfaceSNARFSystem Normalize And Reset FlagsSNMShow No MercySNOSend Nukes on OverflowSOAWPSOlve All the World`d ProblemsSOBStew On BrewSODSurrender Or DieSOLShift On LowSOPStop and Order PizzaSOSSign Off, StupidSOTSit On a TackSPScatter PrintSPASliding Point ArithmeticSPBSimulate Peanut ButterSPDSPin DiskSPSSet Panel SwitchesSPSWScramble Program Status WordSQPWYCSit Quietly and Play With Your CrayonsSRBOSet Random Bits to OnesSRBZSet Random Bits to ZeroesSRCSelect Random ChannelSRCSelect Reader and Chew cardsSRCCSelect Reader and Chew CardsSRDSwitch to Random DensitySRDRShift Right Double RidiculousSROSort with Random OrderingSROSStore in Read-Only StorageSRRShift Registers RandomSRSDSeek Record and Scar DiskSRSDSeek Record and Scratch DiskSRTCStop Real-Time ClockSRUSignoff Random UserSRZSubtract and Reset to ZeroSSBScramble Status ByteSSDScratch System DiskSSDStacker Select DiskSSDStop and Scratch Disk [3815]SSJSelect Stacker and JamSSJPSelect Stacker and JumPSSMSolve by Supernatural MeansSSMStacker Select MemorySSPSeek SPindleSSPSmoke and SParkSSTSeek and Stretch TapeSSWScramble Status WordSTSet and TestSTASTore AnywhereSTCSlow To a CrawlSTDStop, Take DrugsSTMSTretch MagtapeSTMSkip on Third MondaySTOStrangle Tape OperatorSTPRSToP RainSTRIKESTRIKE for more pay, better hours, etc.STROMSTore in Read-Only MemorySTTHBSet Terminal to Three Hundred BaudSUIQSubtract User`s IQSUMESUprise MESUPShred User PrintoutSUPSolve Unsolvable ProblemSUSStop Until SpringSUSSubtract Until SenselessSWATSWAp TerminalsSWNSWap NibblesSWOSStore in Write-Only StorageSWSSort to Wrong SlotsSWTSelect Wrong TerminalSWUSelect Wrong UnitSWZNSkip Whether Zero or NotSZDSwitch to Zero DensityTAHTake A HikeTAITrap Absurd InputsTARCTake Arithmetic Review CourseTBFTGTwo Burgers and Fries To GoTCTransmit ColorsTDBTransfer and Drop BitsTDRBTest and Destroy Random BitsTDSTrash Data SegmentTETTriple Execution Time [SUN]TLNFTeach me a Lesson i`ll Never ForgetTLOTurn indicator Lights OffTLWTransfer and Lose WayTNTake a NapTOACTurn Off Air ConditionerTOGTake Out GarbageTOGTime Out, GraduateTOHTake Operator HostageTOOTurn On/off OperatorTOPTrap OPeratorTOSTrash Operating SystemTOWTake Over WorldTPDTerminal Printer DestructTPDTotal Program DiagnosticTPDTriple Pack DecimalTPDHTell Programmer to Do it HimselfTPFTurn Power oFfTPNTurn Power oNTPOTurn Power OffTPRTear PapeRTRTurn into RubbishTRATe Rdls Arvs [type ridiculous abbreviations]TRDTRansfer and Drop bitTSHTrap Secretary and HaltTSMTrap Secretary and MountTSTTrash System TracksTT%CNTeleType (em Clunk NoiseTT%EKBTeleType (em Electrify KeyBoardTTATry, Try AgainTTIHLICTry To Imagine How Little I CareTTITTTurn 2400 foot Tape Into Two 1200 foot TapesTTLTap Trunk LineTTLTime To LogoffTYFTrust Your FeelingsUAUnload AccumulatorUAIUse Alternate Instruction setUAPA(AM)Use All Power Available (And More)UCBUncouple CPU and BranchUCIPUpdate Card In PlaceUCKUnlock Console KeyswitchUCLBUncouple Comm Lines and BranchUCMUncouple CoMm lines and branchUCPUBUncouple CPUs and BranchUDRUpdate and Delete RecordUERUpdate and Erase RecordUFOUnidentified Flag OperationULDAUnLoaD AccumulatorUMRUnlock Machine RoomUNPDUNPlug and DumpUOPUseless OPerationUPUnderstand Program[mer]UPAUse all Power AvailableUPCUnderstand Program[mer]`s CommentsUPIUndo Previous InstructionURBUpdate, Resume and BranchUTFUnwind Tape onto FloorUTFUse The ForceUUBRUse Undefined Base RegisterVAXViolate All eXecutionsVFEViolate Field EngineerVFOViolate Female OperatorVMAViolate Maintenance AgreementVNOViolate Noise OrdinanceVPAVanishing Point ArithmeticVVMVaporize Virtual MemoryWADWalk Away in DisgustWATWAste TimeWBBWrite to the Bit BucketWBTWater Binary TreeWCWaste CoreWCRWrite to Card ReaderWDRWarp disk DRiveWEDWrite and Erase DataWEMGWrite Eighteen Minute GapWFWait ForeverWGPBWrite Garbage in Process-control BlockWHFOWait until Hell Freezes OverWHPWave Hands over ProgramWIWhy ImmediateWIWrite IllegiblyWIDWrite Invalid DataWMCWrite Millions of CommentsWNAMWe Need A MiracleWNHRWrite New Hit RecordWNRWrite Noise RecordWPWrite PoopWPETWrite Past End of TapeWPMWrite Programmer`s MindWSEWrite Stack EverywhereWSWWWork in Strange and Wondrous WaysWUPOWad Up Printer OutputWWLRWrite Wrong Length RecordWWRWrite Wrong RecordXXIOeXecute Invalid OpcodeXXKFeXecute Kermit the FrogXXMeXclusive MaybeXXMBeXclusive MayBeXXOHeXecute no-Op and HangXXOReXecute OpeRatorXXOSeXchange Operator`s SexXXPReXecute PRogrammerXXPSWeXecute Program Status WordXXSPeXecute Systems ProgrammerXXVFeXchange Virtue for FunYABYet Another BugYASEYet Another Stupid ErrorZAPZero and Add PackedZARZero Any RegisterZDZap DirectoryZEOWZero Every Other WordZPIZaP Immediate

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A drunk phoned the local police departmentto report that thieves had been in his car... Read this joke...
A beautiful, well-dressed blonde seats herself in the firstclass cabin on a cross-country flight, and settles herself infor the trip, smiling prettily at admiring passengers seatedaround her... Read this joke...

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You`re the best at all you do -- and all you do is make people hate you... Read this joke...
What do you call a blonde with pigtails?A blow job with handle bars... Read this joke...

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You are so fat that I hear you were arrested three times for jay-walking when all the time you were just standing on the corner waiting for the light to change... Read this joke...

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