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Diary of a computer lamer
Computer jokes
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July 18 I just tried to connect to America online, which I`ve heard is the best online service I can get. I can`t connect, I don`t know what is wrong. July 19 Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don`t see why. He`s just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I am? July 20 I bought the modem, I couldn`t figure out where it goes though, it wouldn`t fit in the monitor or the printer. I`m confused. July 21 I finally got the modem in and hooked up. A three year old next door did it for me. July 22 The three year old kid next door hooked me up to America online for me. He`s so smart. July 23 What the heck is the internet? I thought I was on America Online, not this internet thingy. I`m confused. July 24 The three year old kid next door showed me how to use this America Online stuff. He must be a genius at least compared to me. July 25 I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer but nothing happened. Maybe I need to buy a microphone. July 26 I found this thingy called Usenet. I got out of it because I`m connected to America Online, not Usenet. I went to the doctor today for my regular checkup. He says that since I connected, My brain has mysteriously shrunk to half its normal size. July 27 These people in this Usenet thingy keep using capital letters. How do they do that? i never figured out how to type capital letters. Maybe they have a different type of keyboard. July 28 I found this thingy called the Usenet oracle. It says that it can answer any questions I ask it. I asked it 44 separate questions about the internet. I hope it responds soon. July 29 I found a group called rec.humor. I decided to post this joke about why the chicken crossed the road. To get to the other side! ha ha! I wasn`t sure if i posted it right so I posted it 56 more times. July 30 I keep hearing about the World Wide Web. I didn`t know spiders grew that large. July 31 The oracle responded to my questions today. Geez, it was rude. I was so angry that I posted an angry message about it to rec.humor.oracle.d. I wasn`t sure if it posted right so I posted it 22 more times. August 1 Someone told me to read the FAQ. Geez, they didn`t have to use profanity. August 2 I just read this post called make money fast. I`m so exited, I`m going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions and posted it to every newsgroup i could find. August 3 I just made my signature file. It`s only 6 pages long, So I will have to work on it some more. August 4 I just looked at a group called alt.aol.sucks. I read a few posts and I really believe that aol should be wiped off the face of the Earth. I wonder what an "aol" is, however. August 5 I was asking where to find some information about something. Some guy told me to check out ftp.netcom.com. I`ve looked and looked, but I cant find that group. August 6 Some guy suspended my account because of what i was doing. I told him I don`t have an account at his bank. He`s so dumb.
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