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One-liners 101-150
Blonde jokes
Rating : 4.00, 1 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
101. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A1: You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
A2: You can`t fit the blonde in the bowling ball.
A3: There is no difference. They`re both round and have three holes to poke.
A4: You don`t eat your bowling ball.
102. Q: What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A: Chances are they`ll both end up in the gutter.
103. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A: They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
104. Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
A: Bigfoot has been spotted.
105. Q: What`s the difference between a blonde and a telephone?
A: It costs 30 cents to use a telephone.
106. Q: What`s the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
107. Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of York?
A: The Grand Old Duke of York only `had` 10000 men.
108. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won`t follow you
around for a week.
109. Q: What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?
A: They both get easier to pick-up with age.
110. Q: What does a screen door and a blonde have in common?
A: The more you bang it, the looser it gets.
111. Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They`re both empty from the neck up.
112. Q: What do blondes and spaghetti have in common?
A: They both wriggle when you eat them.
113. Q: Why did the deaf blonde sit on a newspaper?
A: So she could lip read.
114. Q: What do peroxide blondes and black men have in common?
A: They both have black roots.
115. Q: What do you call a blonde with a bag of sugar on Her head?
A: Sweet Fuck All...
116. Q: How do you drown a blonde?
A1: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool.
A2: Don`t tell Her to swallow.
A3: Leave a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
117. Q: Why did the blonde drown in the pool?
A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool.
118. Q: Why do blondes have square boobs?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
119. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies?
A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties.
A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit.
A3: Two...one to make batter and one to peel the M&Ms.
120. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping?
A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard.
121. Q: What did the blonde`s mom say to Her before the blonde`s date?
A: If you`re not in bed by 12, come home.
122. Q: What`s the blonde`s cheer?
A: " I`m blonde, I`m blonde, I`m B.L.O.N.ah, oh well.. I`m blonde, I`m blonde,
yea yea yea..."
123. Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for Her thoughts?
A: Change.
124. Q: How does a blonde moonwalk?
A: She pulls down Her panties and slides Her ass along the floor!
125. Q: Why do blondes find it difficult to marry?
A: Because you don`t have to marry them for sex!
126. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
A: Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do.
127. Q: Why does a blonde only change Her baby`s diapers every month?
A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
128. Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.
129. Q: How does a blonde kill a fish?
A: She drowns it.
130. Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished Her jigsaw puzzle in only
6 months?
A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
131. Q: What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A: "Nice tits!"
132. Q: How does a blonde high-5?
A: She smacks herself in the forehead.
133. Q: How do you amuse a blonde for hours?
A: Write `Please turn over` on both sides of a piece of paper.
134. Q: Why aren`t there many blonde gymnasts?
A: Because when they do the splits, they stick to the floor.
135. Q: Why do blondes have legs?
A1: So they don`t get stuck to the ground.
A2: To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3: So they don`t leave trails, like little snails.
136. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home?
A: It took Her that long to discover that a 14-inch Viking was a television.
137. Q: What is the irritating part around a blonde`s vagina?
A1: The blonde!
A2: The other guys waiting their turn.
138. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots?
A: Flattered.
139. Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives?
A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
140. Q: What did the blonde say when asked if she`d ever been picked up by "the fuzz"?
A: "No. But I`ve been swung around by the tits."
141. Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A: Frosted Flakes.
142. Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A: Frosted Flakes.
143. Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9?
A: A 69 interrupted by a period.
144. Q: What`s the difference between a blonde having Her period and a terrorist?
A: You can negotiate with a terrorist.
145. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: "Oh look! Donut seeds!"
146. Q: Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?
A1: So they don`t shit everywhere when you pull their tits.
A2: So that when you pull their tits, they don`t moo.
147. Q: Why don`t blondes breast feed?
A: Because they always burn their nipples.
148. Q: Did you hear about the blonde lesbian?
A: She kept having affairs with men!
149. Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A: To cover up the valve stem.
150. Q: What did the blonde name Her pet zebra?
A: Spot.
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