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Things not to say!
Adult jokes
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Things not to say in bed! 1. But everybody looks funny naked! 2. You woke me up for that? 3. Did I mention the video camera? 4. Do you smell something burning? 5. Can you please try breathing through your nose? 6. A little rug burn never hurt anyone. 7. Darling, did you lock the back door? 8. But whipped cream makes me break out in a rash. 9. person 1: This is your first time...right? person 2: It is.... today 10. Can you pass me the remote control? 11. Do you accept Visa? 12. On second thoughts, let`s turn off the lights. 13. And to think- I was really trying to pick up your friend. 14. So much for mouth-to-mouth 15. Hope you`re as good looking when I`m sober... 16. Try not to smear my make-up, will you`? 17. But I just brushed my teeth... 18. Smile, you`re on candid camera! 19. I thought you had the keys to the handcuffs?! 20. I want a baby! 21. So much for the fulfilment of sexual fantasies! 22. (in a menage a trois) Why am I doing all the work? 23. Did you know the ceiling needs painting? 24. When is this supposed to feel good? 25. Did I remember to take my pill? 26. Are you sure I don`t know you from somewhere? 27. But my cat always sleeps on that pillow. 28. Did I tell you my aunt Martha died in this bed? 29. If you quit smoking you might have more endurance. 30. No, really.. I do this part better myself. 31. This would be more fun with a few more people. 32. You`re almost as good as my ex! 33. You look younger than you feel. 34. Perhaps you`re just out of practice. 35. Now I know why she dumped you... 36. Does your husband own a sawn off shot-gun? 37. Have you ever considered liposuction? 38. And to think, I didn`t even have to buy you dinner! 39. What are you planning to make for breakfast? 40. I`ll tell you I`m fantasizing about if you tell me who you`re fantasizing about.. 41. Does this count as a date? 42. I think biting is romantic- don`t you? 42. When would you like to meet my parents? 43. Have you seen "fatal attraction"? 44. Sorry about the name tags, I`m not to good with names. 45. Don`t mind me... I always file my nails in bed. 46. Don`t worry, my dog`s really friendly for a doberman. 47. Sorry but I don`t do toes. 48. You could at least act like you`re enjoying it! 49. Keep the noise down, my mother is a light sleeper. 50. I`ve slept with more women than Casanova! Submitted by Calamjo Edited by yisman and Curtis
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