Man walks into a tattoo parlor and asks for a tattoo. Tattoo artist: " What kind of tattoo do you want ?" Man: "I want the new $100 dollar bill tattooed on my penis." Tattoo artist: "Why?" Man: "3 reasons: 1. I like to play with my money 2. I like to see my money grow 3. Next time the wife wants to go out and blow $100 she can stay at home."