White Trash
Funny stories
Rating : 4.39, 20 votes.
Reviews : 2 [add review]
I grew up white trash. We had an interesting dinner table, it was called the stove. I found out early that pork and beans cook just fine in the can, as long as you take the label off first (or leave on for that unique “smoky” flavor). We’d serve them with exotic side dishes like Kraft singles-and-ketchup rolls, accompanied by a vintage Kool-aid. Back then, fast food was served in styrofoam containers, so all our fine china said “quarter-pounder with cheese”. This made it easy for guests to take home leftovers. Not that we didn’t like to wash dishes, but the sink was usually full of either laundry or engine parts. I had 6 brothers and sisters, and I was born an uncle. When we weren’t throwing steak knives at each other, we all had important jobs around the house, like collecting the beer cans for recycling. Hey, you had to get cigarette money somewhere. I‘d get mine by digging around in the bottom of the couch for loose change, which is not easy when your old man is asleep on it. If you woke him up, you had to pay a 50% “luxury tax”. Not that he didn’t work, but at the time there just wasn’t much demand for hand-made deer antler door knockers, a proud trade he had learned from his father. We had a TV, but this was before remotes so it just stayed on one channel, the one that had “Family Feud” and wrestling. Sometimes I’d mow the lawn. Not for money, but to find our dogs that were out there somewhere. At night you could hear the pack baying in the distance. I stopped looking for them when I began to find these really strange bones in the yard. You had to be careful in the yard, once I tripped on the extension cord between our house and the next-door gas station and ruined dinner: the hotdogs in the toaster were almost done, too.
Rating : 4.39, 20 votes.
Reviews : 2 [add review]
Previous story
[ Funny stories index ]
Next story
Previous story
[ humor stories index ]
Next story
More : Popular humor stories |
Most reviewed humor stories |
Top Rated humor stories
Reviews of that story :
Reviews : 2, Rating : 4.39, 20 votes.
Post your review!
|
Funny stuff
