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Job search jargon
Work jokes
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Whether you are a student looking for that first time or summer job or a long time veteran looking for a change of pace, this JOB SEARCH JARGON should help you get on your way...
COMPETITIVE SALARY:
We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
FLEXIBLE HOURS:
Work 55 hours; get paid for 37.5.
GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS:
Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want you to do.
ABILITY TO HANDLE A HEAVY WORKLOAD:
You whine, you`re fired.
CAREER-MINDED: We expect that you will want to flip hamburgers until you are 70.
SELF-MOTIVATED: Management won`t answer questions
SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED: Some time each night and some time each weekend
DUTIES WILL VARY: Anyone in the office can boss you around.
COMPETITIVE ENVIRONMENT:We have a lot of turnover.
SALES POSITION REQUIRING MOTIVATED SELF-STARTER:
We`re not going to supply you with leads; there`s no base salary; you`ll wait 30 days for your first commission check.
CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE: We don`t pay enough to expect that you`ll dress up; well, a couple of the real daring guys wear earrings.
SOME PUBLIC RELATIONS REQUIRED: If we`re in trouble, you`ll go on TV and get us out of it.
SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE: You`ll need it to replace three people who just left.
PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST: You`re walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
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