|
|
|
The new priest gets drunk!
Religious jokes
Rating : 9.64, 11 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.
The monsignor replied, "When I am worried about getting nervous on the pulpit, I put a glass of vodka next to the water glass. If I start to get nervous, I take a sip."
So next Sunday he took the monsignor`s advice. At the beginning of the sermon, he got nervous and took a drink. He proceeded to talk up a storm.
Upon his return to his office after mass, he found the following note on the door:
1. Sip the Vodka, don`t gulp.
2. There are 10 commandments, not 12.
3. There are 12 disciples, not 10.
4. Jesus was consecrated, not constipated.
5. Jacob wagered his donkey, he did not bet his ass.
6. We do not refer to Jesus Christ as the late J.C.
7. The Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are not referred to as Daddy, Junior and the Spook.
8. David slew Goliath, he did not kick the crap out of him.
9. When David was hit by a rock and knocked off his donkey, don`t say he was stoned off his ass.
10. We do not refer to the cross as the "Big T"
11. When Jesus broke the bread at the Last Supper he said, "Take this and eat it for it is my body." He did not say "Eat me."
12. The Virgin Mary is not called "Mary with the Cherry."
13. The recommended grace before a meal is not: Rub-A-Dub-Dub thanks for the grub, yeah God.
14. Next Sunday there will be a taffy pulling contest at St. Peter`s, not a peter pulling contest at St. Taffy`s.
Rating : 9.64, 11 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
Previous joke
[ Religious jokes index ]
Next joke
Previous joke
[ jokes index ]
Next joke
More :
Popular jokes |
Most reviewed jokes |
Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke :
Reviews : 0, Rating : 9.64, 11 votes.
Post your review!
| |
|
|
|
Random jokes |
"Looking back over the years that we`ve been together,I can`t help but wonder:... Read this joke...
A wife complains, "A wall clock almost killed my mother-in-law today... Read this joke...
|
|
Random joke |
1. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn`t want... Read this joke...
Mel Blanc (the voice of Bugs Bunny) was allergic to carrots!... Read this joke...
|
|
Random Funny stuff
Every year, kids in North America spend close to half a billion dollars on chewing gum!... Read this joke...
Random pics
|
|
Funny stuff