Redneck valentine
Redneck jokes
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A Redneck Valentine ...author unknown
Collards is green my dog`s name is Blue and he`s all I know of that`s purdier than you. Yore hair is like cornsilk a-flapping in the breeze Softer than Blue`s and without all them fleas.
You move like the bass, which excite me in May. You ain`t got no scales but I luv you anyway. Yo`re as satisfy`n as okry jist a-fry`n in the pan Yo`re as fragrant as "snuff" right out of the can.
You have som`a yore teeth, for which I am proud; I hold my head high when we`re in a crowd. On special occasions, when you shave under yore arms, well, I`m in hawg heaven, and awed by yore charms.
Still them fellers at work, they all want to know, what I did to deserve such a purdy, young doe. Like a good roll of duct tape yo`re there fer yore man, to patch up life`s troubles and fix what you can.
Yo`re as cute as a junebug a-buzzin` overhead. You ain`t mean like them far ants I found in my bed. Cut from the best cloth like a plaid flannel shirt, you spark up my life more than a fresh load of dirt.
When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack, my life is complete; Ain`t nuttin` I lack. Yore complexion, it`s perfection, like the best vinyl sidin`. despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin`.
Me `n` you`s like a Moon Pie with a RC cold drank, we go together like a skunk goes with stank. Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine`s Day; They git it at Wal-Mart, it`s romantic that way.
Some men git roses on that special day from the cooler at Kroger. "That`s awsum," I say. Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market stand.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, proud an` grand.
But for this man, honey, these gifts jus` won`t do. Cause yo`re far too special, you sweet thang you. I got you a gift, without taste nor odor, more useful than diamonds... IT`S A NEW TROLLIN` MOTOR!
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