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Redneck quickies 38
Redneck jokes
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You might be a redneck if... You think "Country & Western" covers both types of music. You`ve ever used a hangnail as a tooth pick. You can chew your own toenails. You`ve ever used an inner-tube patch on your jeans. You want the opening day of deer hunting season to be declared a national holiday. Someone knocks on your front door and your back door rattles. You let goldenrod grow in your yard because it looks so pretty. You`ve ever absent-mindedly nibbled on your live bait. .. and didn`t spit it out. Your best Sunday clothes include your John Deere baseball cap. You go to a wedding or any formal party and ask someone to pull your finger. Your friend tells you he went online last night, and you think he took a drunk driving test. Your mama has more tattoos than you do. You think the ATM machine is a giant, public calculator. Your favorite cologne smells like exhaust. You think its okay to have your 6 year old babysit your 5, 4, and 3 year old. Your dog`s shots are up to date but your children`s aren`t. You use the water in your toilet to bob for apples. Your whole family sleeps in the same bed. You consider your annual bath one too many. You wore a baseball cap to the opera.
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