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Moronic instructions
One liners
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On a hairdryer:
`Do not use while sleeping.`
On a bag of chips:
`You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.`
On a bar of soap:
`Directions: use like regular soap.`
On some frozen dinners:
`Serving suggestion: defrost.`
On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box:
`Fits one head.`
On packaged Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):
`Do not turn upside down.`
On packaged Bread Pudding:
`Product will be hot after heating.`
On packaging for an iron:
`Do not iron clothes on body.`
On children`s cough medicine:
`Do not drive car or operate machinery.`
On sleep aid:
`Warning: may cause drowsiness.`
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
`For indoor or outdoor use only.`
On peanuts:
`Warning: contains nuts.`
On a packet of nuts:
`Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.`
On a Swedish chainsaw:
`Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.`
On a child`s Superman costume:
`Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.`
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