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Moronic instructions
One liners
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On a hairdryer: `Do not use while sleeping.` On a bag of chips: `You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.` On a bar of soap: `Directions: use like regular soap.` On some frozen dinners: `Serving suggestion: defrost.` On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: `Fits one head.` On packaged Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box): `Do not turn upside down.` On packaged Bread Pudding: `Product will be hot after heating.` On packaging for an iron: `Do not iron clothes on body.` On children`s cough medicine: `Do not drive car or operate machinery.` On sleep aid: `Warning: may cause drowsiness.` On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: `For indoor or outdoor use only.` On peanuts: `Warning: contains nuts.` On a packet of nuts: `Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.` On a Swedish chainsaw: `Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.` On a child`s Superman costume: `Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.`
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