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  Jokes > One liners : Life...

Life...


One liners Rating : 4.50, 2 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me the hell alone.
The 1000 km journey always begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tyre.
It`s always darkest before dawn. So if you`re going to steal the neighbor?s newspaper that`s the time to do it.
It`s a small world. So you gotta use your elbows a lot.
Sex is like air. It`s not important unless you aren`t getting any.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
Always remember you`re unique, just like everyone else.
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
If you think nobody cares if you`re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
If you tell the truth, you don`t have to remember anything.
If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
You can`t strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.
When someone says, `Do you want my opinion?` it is always a negative one.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle him or her gently.
The word `listen` contains the same letters as the word `silent`.
The trouble with work is - it`s so daily.
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
Scientists say one out of even four people is crazy. Check three friends - if they are OK, you`re it.
Pain and suffering is inevitable but misery is optional.


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