aFunnyStuff.com archive
Jokes Humor stories Pictures Videos Funny News Games

Home  |  Bookmark us  |  Submit / Upload  |   |  Random stuff  |  RSS feed  |  Funny sites(add)  |  About  |  Terms  |  Privacy  |  Contact us
Funny stuff
» Funny pictures
Funny pics gallery
Forum pics 130
Funny pics mix 6
Funny pictures 2714
Optical illusions 37
» Funny videos
Funny clips gallery
Banned videos 53
Extreme videos 203
Funny animals 101
Funny cartoons 85
Funny cats 74
Funny dogs 85
Funny videos 8996
Home made videos 33
Music videos 69
Parodies 28
Pranks 156
Sexy videos 89
Sport videos 175
Stupid videos 160
Wierd videos 6
» Funny news
Funny news 31635
News funnies 23
» Free Games
Games gallery
Action games 844
Cartoons 62
Casino games 39
Classic arcade 254
Fighting games 81
Free games 1799
Logic games 170
Photo puzzles 593
Racing games 201
RPG games 45
Shooting games 452
Sport games 333
Strategy games 196
» Funny jokes
Adult jokes 1626
Animal jokes 289
Bar jokes 620
Blonde jokes 1361
Bumper stickers 40
Computer jokes 430
Dirty jokes 239
Ethnic jokes 319
Funny Facts 1490
Gay jokes 117
Gender jokes 69
Holiday jokes 168
Humor jokes 819
Insults 4294
Insults jokes 114
Jokers 160
Lawyer jokes 530
Medical jokes 297
One liners 704
Police jokes 6
Politics jokes 304
Redneck jokes 473
Religious jokes 625
Work jokes 75
Yo mama jokes 127
» Humor stories
Funny poems 15
Funny stories 343
» Sounds
Funny audio 338
Sound boards 80
Funny sitesFunny sites
Uber Humor


  Jokes > Medical jokes : Ode to a mammogram

Ode to a mammogram


Medical jokes Rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

For years`n years they told me,
"Be careful of your breasts.
Don`t ever squeeze or bruise them,
And give them monthly tests."
So I heeded all their warnings
And protected them by law...
Guarded them very carefully,
And always wore a bra.
After 30 years of careful care,
The Doctor found a lump,
He ordered up a Mammogram
To look inside that clump.
"Stand up very close," she said,
as she got my tit in line,
"And tell me when it hurts," she said,
Ah yes!There! Thats just fine."
She stepped upon a pedal...
I could not believe my eyes!
A plastic plate was pressing down...
My Boob was in a vice!
My skin was stretched`n stretched
From way up by my chin,
And my poor tit was being squashed
To Swedish pancake thin!
Excruciating pain I felt,
Within its vice-like grip,
A prisoner in this vicious thing,
My poor defenseless tit!
"Take a deep breath," she said to me.
Who does she think she`s kidding?
My chest is smashed in her machine,
I can`t breathe and woozy I am getting.
"There, that was good," I heard her say
As the room was slowly swaying,
"Now lets get the other one,"
"Lord, have mercy," I was praying.
It squeezed me from the up and down,
It squeezed me from both sides,
I`ll bet she`s never had this done
to her tender little hide!
If I had no problem when I came in,
I surely have one now...
If there had been a cyst in there,
It would have popped-Ker-Pow!
This machine was made by man,
Of this I have no doubt...
I`d like to get his balls in there,
For months he`d go "WITHOUT"!



Rate this joke (settings)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

Previous joke [ Medical jokes index ] Next joke
Previous joke [ jokes index ] Next joke

More : Popular jokes | Most reviewed jokes | Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke : Reviews : 0, Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.


Post your review!

Name  :
Email   :
Rate    :
Text    : URLs cannot be posted here
           
Cool sites



Random jokes
Q.What's te best pick up line in any state below the Mason-Dixon line?A.Get in the truck!... Read this joke...
I wish you were all here... Read this joke...

Random joke
Your so fat when you go to theme parks you get a group discount!... Read this joke...
Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?... Read this joke...


Friend Finder



Random Funny stuff

I hear that when you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you, but the Mafia wanted too much... Read this joke...

Random pics
Funny pictures : Decoy

aFunnyStuff.com archive
Use parental controls to protect your kids : Wikipedia | Battle.