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Funeral plans
Lawyer jokes
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An elderly spinster called the lawyer`s office
and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about
having a will prepared.
The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a
convenient time for the spinster to come into the office.
The woman replied, "You must understand, I`ve lived alone
all my life, I rarely see anyone, and I don`t like to go out.
Would it be possible for the lawyer to come to my house?"
The receptionist checked with the attorney
who agreed and he went to the spinster`s home
for the meeting to discuss her estate and the will.
The lawyer`s first question was, "Would you
please tell me what you have in assets and how you`d like
them to be distributed under your will?"
She replied, "Besides the furniture and
accessories you see here, I have $40,000 in my savings
account at the bank."
"Tell me," the lawyer asked, "how would you
like the $40,000 to be distributed?"
The spinster said, "Well, as I`ve told you,
I`ve lived a reclusive life, people have hardly ever noticed
me, so I`d like them to notice when I pass on. I`d like to
provide $35,000 for my funeral."
The lawyer remarked, "Well, for $35,000 you
will be able to have a funeral that will certainly be
noticed and will leave a lasting impression on anyone who may
not have taken much
note of you! But tell me," he continued, "what
would you like to do with the remaining $5,000?"
The spinster replied, "As you know, I`ve never
married, I`ve lived alone almost my entire life, and in fact
I`ve never slept with a man. Before I die, I`d like you to
use the $5,000 to arrange for a man to sleep with me."
"This is a very unusual request," the lawyer
said, adding, "but I`ll see what I can do to arrange it and
get back to you."
That evening, the lawyer was at home telling
his wife about the eccentric spinster and her weird
request.
After thinking about how much she could do around the house
with $5,000 and with a bit of coaxing, she got her husband to
agree to provide the service himself. She said, "I`ll drive
you over
tomorrow morning, and wait in the car until you`re
finished."
The next morning, she drove him to the
spinster`s house and waited while he went into the house.
She waited for over an hour, but her husband didn`t come out.
So she blew the car
horn. Shortly, the upstairs bedroom window
opened, the lawyer stuck his head out and yelled, "Pick me
up tomorrow, she`s going to let the County bury her!"
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