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Rejected hallmark cards
Jokers
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"Looking back over the years that we`ve been together,
I can`t help but wonder:...
-- What was I thinking?"
"Congratulations on your wedding day!...
-- Too bad no one likes your wife."
"How could two people as beautiful you.
-- have such an ugly baby?"
"I`ve always wanted to have someone to hold, someone to love...
-- After having met you, I`ve changed my mind."
"I must admit, you brought Religion in my life...
-- I never believed in Hell until I met you."
"As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
-- that you`re not here to ruin it for me."
"As you grow older, Mum, I think of all the gifts you`ve given me...
-- Like the need for therapy."
"Thanks for being a part of my life!!...
-- I never knew what evil was before this!"
"Before you go,...
I would like you to take this knife out of my back.
-- You`ll probably need it again."
"Someday I hope to get married...
-- but not to you."
"You look great for your age...
-- Almost Lifelike!"
"When we were together, you always said you`d die for me...
-- Now that we`ve broken up, I think it`s time you kept your promise."
"I knew the day would come when you would leave me for my best friend...
-- So here`s his leash, water bowl and chew toys."
"We have been friends for a very long time...
-- What do you say we call it quits?"
"I`m so miserable without you...
-- It`s almost like you`re here."
"Congratulations on your new bundle of joy...
-- Did you ever find out who the father was?"
"You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket...
-- I`d miss you heaps and think of you often."
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