93 m.p.h.
Jokers
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Bob was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge at about 90mph. Wouldn`t you know a cop jumped out and clocked him with radar. Bob pulled over like a good citizen; recalling Rodney King and recent illegal alien incidents.
The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were going BOY?!?"
Bob thought for a second and asked, "Uhhh, over 55?"
"93mph son! 93mph in a 55 zone!"
"But if you already knew," replied Bob, "Why did you ask me?"
Ignoring Bob, the officer continued, in His normal charming fashion, "That`s speeding and your getting a ticket and a fine!" The cop took a good look at the Bob and said, "You don`t even look like you have a job! Why,... I`ve never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!"
Bob recanted, "I`ve got a job! I have a good, well paying job!"
The cop leaned in the window, and with the smell of day old donuts on His breath, said, "What kind of a job would a bum like you have?!?"
"I`m an asshole stretcher!!" replied Bob.
"What you say, BOY?!?" asked the patrolman.
"I`m an asshole stretcher!!"
Of course the cop asked, "What does an asshole stretcher do?"
Bob explained, " People call me up and say they want to be stretched, so I go over there and start with a couple of fingers, then a couple more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then I pull them farther and farther apart until it`s six feet across."
The cop, absorbed with the images in His mind, let down His guard and asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot asshole ?"
Bob nonchalantly commented, "You give it a radar gun and stick it at the end of a bridge!
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