aFunnyStuff.com archive
Jokes Humor stories Pictures Videos Funny News Games

Home  |  Bookmark us  |  Submit / Upload  |   |  Random stuff  |  RSS feed  |  Funny sites(add)  |  About  |  Terms  |  Privacy  |  Contact us
Funny stuff
» Funny pictures
Funny pics gallery
Forum pics 130
Funny pics mix 6
Funny pictures 2714
Optical illusions 37
» Funny videos
Funny clips gallery
Banned videos 53
Extreme videos 203
Funny animals 101
Funny cartoons 85
Funny cats 74
Funny dogs 85
Funny videos 8996
Home made videos 33
Music videos 69
Parodies 28
Pranks 156
Sexy videos 89
Sport videos 175
Stupid videos 160
Wierd videos 6
» Funny news
Funny news 31635
News funnies 23
» Free Games
Games gallery
Action games 844
Cartoons 62
Casino games 39
Classic arcade 254
Fighting games 81
Free games 1799
Logic games 170
Photo puzzles 593
Racing games 201
RPG games 45
Shooting games 452
Sport games 333
Strategy games 196
» Funny jokes
Adult jokes 1626
Animal jokes 289
Bar jokes 620
Blonde jokes 1361
Bumper stickers 40
Computer jokes 430
Dirty jokes 239
Ethnic jokes 319
Funny Facts 1490
Gay jokes 117
Gender jokes 69
Holiday jokes 168
Humor jokes 819
Insults 4294
Insults jokes 114
Jokers 160
Lawyer jokes 530
Medical jokes 297
One liners 704
Police jokes 6
Politics jokes 304
Redneck jokes 473
Religious jokes 625
Work jokes 75
Yo mama jokes 127
» Humor stories
Funny poems 15
Funny stories 343
» Sounds
Funny audio 338
Sound boards 80
Funny sitesFunny sites
Uber Humor


  Jokes > Humor jokes : Threw up on me joke

Threw up on me joke


Humor jokes Rating : 1.00, 1 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]


This recovering alcoholic is down town to pick up his income tax return. He passes by a bar and turns to go inside. He stops and thinks to himself "If I go in here and get drunk, my wife will leave me". He makes a promise to himself to only have a couple beers and then leave. Well he goes in and gets wasted. As he sits at the bar, he pukes down the front of his shirt. Immediately he breaks out into tears sobbing "My wife is going to leave me. I`m just a miserable old drunk and now I`m going to die alone". The guy sitting next to him turns and says to the drunk guy "It`s not that bad. You can get out of this." The drunk looks at him and asks how in the world is he going to get out of this? The guy says "Take a $5 bill and put it in your shirt pocket. When you get home, tell Her you had a couple beers and a guy puked on you.
Tell Her that the $5 was given to you to pay for the shirt." The drunk guy looks disbelievingly at him and says "That just might work. You are a saint. Thank you." The drunk guys goes straight home. When he walks through the front door, his wife is waiting for him and she is irate. She takes one look at him and screams "I can`t believe it. You`re drunk. I warned you but you just don`t care. I`m moving out." The drunk says "Stop honey. Let me explain. True I did have a couple beers but I`m not drunk." She says " Look at you... you puked down the front of your shirt." He says "I didn`t do this. A drunk guy next to me puked on me. He put a $5 bill in my shirt pocket to pay for the shirt. You can see for yourself" She reaches into his pocket and pulls out some money. She looks at it, then to him and says "This is a $10 bill" He looks at Her and says "Oh I forgot. He shit my pants too".



Rate this joke (settings)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Rating : 1.00, 1 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

Previous joke [ Humor jokes index ] Next joke
Previous joke [ jokes index ] Next joke

More : Popular jokes | Most reviewed jokes | Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke : Reviews : 0, Rating : 1.00, 1 votes.


Post your review!

Name  :
Email   :
Rate    :
Text    : URLs cannot be posted here
           
Cool sites



Random jokes
Yours is a prima facie case of ugliness... Read this joke...
Ever since I saw you in your family tree I`ve wanted to cut it down... Read this joke...

Random joke
Ordinarily people live and learn... Read this joke...
Yo momma like Betty Crocker icing: Always ready to spread... Read this joke...


Friend Finder



Random Funny stuff

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave!... Read this joke...

Random pics
Funny pictures : Funny decal on van

aFunnyStuff.com archive
Use parental controls to protect your kids : Wikipedia | Battle.