|
|
|
Funny health tip joke
Humor jokes
Rating : 4.59, 53 votes.
Reviews : 32 [add review]
Health Tips
Q: I`ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that`s it... don`t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that`s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these?vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily
allowance of vegetable slop.
Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal,
mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table
of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger
and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your
ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can`t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain - Good.
Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer?
A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual statement and peace of mind. If you stop, you`ll probably stress
yourself to death in record time.
Q: Aren`t fried foods bad for you?
A: You`re not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they`re permeated in it. How
could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: What`s the secret to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want
a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? Cocoa beans... Another vegetable. It`s the best feel good food around!
I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
Have a cookie... flour is a veggie!
Rating : 4.59, 53 votes.
Reviews : 32 [add review]
Previous joke
[ Humor jokes index ]
Next joke
Previous joke
[ jokes index ]
Next joke
More :
Popular jokes |
Most reviewed jokes |
Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke :
Reviews : 32, Rating : 4.59, 53 votes.
Post your review!
| |
|
|
|
Random jokes |
A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep... Read this joke...
Adam was strolling through the Garden of Eden, and he asked God, "God can you put someone else on this planet with me? It`s kind of lonely here?" So God said, "I will put on earth a woman, ""`What is this ?woman?" asked Adam... Read this joke...
|
|
Random joke |
Two blondes suddenly got into bird hunting and were eager to try it out for themselves... Read this joke...
We were in Salino, Utah when we were arrested for not going through a green light... Read this joke...
|
|
Random Funny stuff
One day a man and his wife are playing golf at their home course... Read this joke...
Random pics
|
|
Funny stuff