aFunnyStuff.com archive
Jokes Humor stories Pictures Videos Funny News Games

Home  |  Bookmark us  |  Submit / Upload  |   |  Random stuff  |  RSS feed  |  Funny sites(add)  |  About  |  Terms  |  Privacy  |  Contact us
Funny stuff
» Funny pictures
Funny pics gallery
Forum pics 130
Funny pics mix 6
Funny pictures 2714
Optical illusions 37
» Funny videos
Funny clips gallery
Banned videos 53
Extreme videos 203
Funny animals 101
Funny cartoons 85
Funny cats 74
Funny dogs 85
Funny videos 8996
Home made videos 33
Music videos 69
Parodies 28
Pranks 156
Sexy videos 89
Sport videos 175
Stupid videos 160
Wierd videos 6
» Funny news
Funny news 31635
News funnies 23
» Free Games
Games gallery
Action games 844
Cartoons 62
Casino games 39
Classic arcade 254
Fighting games 81
Free games 1799
Logic games 170
Photo puzzles 593
Racing games 201
RPG games 45
Shooting games 452
Sport games 333
Strategy games 196
» Funny jokes
Adult jokes 1626
Animal jokes 289
Bar jokes 620
Blonde jokes 1361
Bumper stickers 40
Computer jokes 430
Dirty jokes 239
Ethnic jokes 319
Funny Facts 1490
Gay jokes 117
Gender jokes 69
Holiday jokes 168
Humor jokes 819
Insults 4294
Insults jokes 114
Jokers 160
Lawyer jokes 530
Medical jokes 297
One liners 704
Police jokes 6
Politics jokes 304
Redneck jokes 473
Religious jokes 625
Work jokes 75
Yo mama jokes 127
» Humor stories
Funny poems 15
Funny stories 343
» Sounds
Funny audio 338
Sound boards 80
Funny sitesFunny sites
Uber Humor


  Jokes > Holiday jokes : 'twas the night after christmas

'twas the night after christmas


Holiday jokes Rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

`Twas the night after Christmas and all through the trailer, the beer had gone flat and the pizza was staler. The tube socks hung empty, no candies or toys and I was camped out on my old Lay-Z-Boy.
The kids they weren`t talking to me or my wife, the worst Christmas they said they had had in their lives. My wife couldn`t argue and neither could I, so I watched TV and my wife, she just cried.
When out in the yard the dog started barkin`, I stood up and looked and I saw Sheriff Larkin. He yelled, "Roy I am sworn to uphold the laws and I got a complaint here from a feller named Claus."
I said, "Claus, I don`t know nobody named Claus, and you ain`t taking me in without probable cause." Then the Sheriff he said, "The man was shot at last night." I said, "That might have been me, just what`s he look like."
The Sheriff replied, "Well he`s a jolly old feller, with a big beer gut belly, that shakes when he laughs like a bowl full of jelly. He sports a long beard, and a nose like a cherry." I said, "Sheriff that sounds like my wife`s sister Sherri."
"It`s no time for jokes Roy" the Sheriff he said. "The man I`m describing in dressed all in red. I`m here for the truth now, it`s time to come clean. Tell me what you`ve done, tell me what you`ve seen."
Well I started to lie then I thought what the hell, it wouldn`t have been the first time that I`ve spent New Years in jail. I said, "Sheriff it happened last night about ten, and I thought that my wife had been drinking again."
When she walked in from work she was as white as a ghost. I thought maybe she had seen one of them UFO`s. But she said that a bunch of deer had just flown over her head, and stopped on the roof of our good neighbour Red.
Well I ran outside to look and the sight made me shudder, a freezer full of venison standing right on Red`s gutter. Well my hands were a shakin` as I grabbed my gun, when outta Red`s chimney this feller did run.
And slung on his back was this bag over flowin`. I thought he stolen Red`s stuff while old Red was out bowling`. So I yelled, "Drop fat boy, hands in the air!" But he went about his business like he hadn`t a care.
So I popped a warning shot over his head. Well he dropped that bag and he jumped in that sled. And as he flew off I heard him extort, "That`s assault with intent Roy, I`ll see ya in court."
The above document was written by Jeff Foxworthy.


Rate this joke (settings)

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

Rating : 0.00, 0 votes. Reviews : 0 [add review]

[ Holiday jokes index ] Next joke
Previous joke [ jokes index ] Next joke

More : Popular jokes | Most reviewed jokes | Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke : Reviews : 0, Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.


Post your review!

Name  :
Email   :
Rate    :
Text    : URLs cannot be posted here
           
Cool sites



Random jokes
Q: HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN ITS TWELVE O'CLOCK AT MICHAEL JACKSONS HOUSE?????? ... Read this joke...
When people cut their fingers you cry over it just so that you can get salt in the wound... Read this joke...

Random joke
A very good looking man walks into a singles bar, gets a drink and has a seat... Read this joke...
You were the answer to a prayer... Read this joke...


Friend Finder



Random Funny stuff

I`d like to help you out... Read this joke...

Random pics
Funny pictures : Roach Pranks

aFunnyStuff.com archive
Use parental controls to protect your kids : Wikipedia | Battle.