|
|
Evolution of mom
Holiday jokes
Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
The Evolution of Mom Yes, parenthood changes everything. But parenthood also changes with each baby. Here, some of the ways having a second and third child differs from having your first: Your Clothes - 1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy. 2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible. 3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your regular clothes. The Baby`s Name - 1st baby: You pore over baby-name books and practice pronouncing and writing combinations of all your favorites. 2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might as well be you. 3rd baby: You open a name book, close your eyes, and see where your finger falls. Bimaldo? Perfect! Preparing for the Birth - 1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously. 2nd baby: You don`t bother practicing because you remember that last time, breathing didn`t do a thing. 3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your 8th month. The Layette - 1st baby: You prewash your newborn`s clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold them neatly in the baby`s little bureau. 2nd baby: You check to make sure that the clothes are clean and discard only the ones with the darkest stains. 3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can`t they? Worries - 1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby. 2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her wails threaten to wake your firstborn. 3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how to rewind the mechanical swing. Activities - 1st baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story Hour. 2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby Gymnastics. 3rd baby: You take your infant to the supermarket and the dry cleaner. Going Out - 1st baby: The first time you leave your baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times. 2nd baby: Just before you walk out the door, you remember to leave a number where you can be reached. 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the sitter to call only if she sees blood. At Home - 1st baby: You spend a good bit of every day just gazing at the baby. 2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day watching to be sure your older child isn`t squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby. 3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every day hiding from the children.
Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Reviews : 0 [add review]
Previous joke
[ Holiday jokes index ]
Next joke
Previous joke
[ jokes index ]
Next joke
More :
Popular jokes |
Most reviewed jokes |
Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke :
Reviews : 0, Rating : 0.00, 0 votes.
Post your review!
| |
|
|
Random jokes |
To all those people taking leave soon, here`s some great suggestions for when you set up your "out of office" auto replies ... Read this joke...
I think Mother Nature really hates you because you remind Her so much of all her mistakes!... Read this joke...
|
Random joke |
Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible... Read this joke...
The banana looked at the vibrator, and said, i dont know why your shaking, its me shes going to eat... Read this joke...
|
|
Random Funny stuff
You are the answer to my prayer! I prayed to find out if things could get worse!... Read this joke...
Random pics
|
|