|
|
|
Perfect day
Gender jokes
Rating : 6.22, 29 votes.
Reviews : 22 [add review]
Perfect Day for a Woman:
8:15 Wake up to hugs and kisses.
8:30 Weigh 5 lb.
lighter than yesterday.
8:45 Breakfast in bed, fresh squeezed orange juice and croissants.
9:15 Soothing hot bath with fragrant lilac bath oil.
10:00 Light workout at club with handsome, funny personal trainer.
10:30 Facial, manicure, shampoo, and comb out.
12:00 Lunch with best friend at an outdoor cafщ.
12:45 Notice ex-boyfriend`s wife, she has gained 30 lbs.
1:00 Shopping with friends.
3:00 Nap.
4:00 A dozen roses delivered by florist.
Card is from a secret admirer.
4:15 Light workout at club followed by a gentle massage.
5:30 Pick outfit for dinner.
Primp before mirror.
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two, followed by dancing.
10:00 Hot shower.
Alone.
10:30 Make love.
11:00 Pillow talk, light touching and cuddling.
11:15 Fall asleep in His big, strong arms.
Perfect Day for a Man:
6:00 Alarm.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Massive dump while reading the sports section.
7:00 Breakfast.
Filet Mignon, eggs, toast and coffee.
7:30 Limo arrives.
7:45 Bloody Mary en route to airport.
8:15 Private jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Limo to Augusta National Golf Club.
9:45 Play front nine at Augusta, finish 2 under par.
11:45 Lunch.
2 dozen oysters on the half shell.
3 Heinekens.
12:15 Blowjob.
12:30 Play back nine at Augusta, finish 4 under par.
2:15 Limo back to airport.
Drink 2 Bombay martinis.
2:30 Private jet to Nassau, Bahamas.
Nap.
3:15 Late afternoon fishing excursion with topless female crew.
4:30 Catch world record light tackle marlin -1249 lbs.
5:00 Jet back home.
En route, get massage from naked supermodel.
7:00 Dinner.
Lobster appetizers, 1963 Dom Perignon, 20 Oz.
New York strip steak.
9:00 Relax after dinner with 1789 Augler Cognac and Cohiba Cuban cigar.
10:00 Have sex with two 18 year old nymphomaniacs.
11:00 Massage and Jacuzzi.
11:45 Go to bed.
11:50 Let loose a 12 second, 4 octave fart.
Watch the dog leave the room.
11:55 Laugh yourself to sleep.
Rating : 6.22, 29 votes.
Reviews : 22 [add review]
Previous joke
[ Gender jokes index ]
Next joke
Previous joke
[ jokes index ]
Next joke
More :
Popular jokes |
Most reviewed jokes |
Top Rated jokes
Reviews of that joke :
Reviews : 22, Rating : 6.22, 29 votes.
Post your review!
| |
|
|
|
Random jokes |
A lawyer was on his deathbed in his bedroom, and he called to his wife... Read this joke...
Morris complained to his friend Irving, that love making with his wife was becoming routine and boring... Read this joke...
|
|
Random joke |
Three guys are sitting at the bar, when a stranger walked in and took a stool at the far end of the bar... Read this joke...
Over 10,000 birds a year die from smashing into windows... Read this joke...
|
|
Random Funny stuff
You know you`re a redneck jedi when... Read this joke...
Random pics
|
|
Funny stuff