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Ultimate computer
Computer jokes
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The Ultimate Computer stood at the end of the Ultimate Computer
Company`s production line. At which point the guided tour eventually
arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo
This", he said, "is the Ultimate Computer. It will give an intelligent
answer to any question you may care to ask it".
At which a Clever Dick stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke
into the Ultimate Computer`s microphone. "Where is my father"? he
asked. There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the
manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card
popped out. On it were printed the words "Fishing off Florida". Clever
Dick laughed. "Actually", he said, "my father is dead"!
It had been a tricky question!
The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his
feet, immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory,
but as computers were precise, perhaps he might care to
rephrase his question and try again?
Clever Dick thought, went to the Ultimate Computer and this time said,
"Where is my mother`s husband"? Again there was a whirring of wheels and
a flashing of lights. And again a little card popped out. Printed on it were the words:
"Dead. But your father is still fishing off Florida."
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