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Cyber relationship break up letter
Computer jokes
Rating : 1.80, 5 votes.
Reviews : 3 [add review]
CYBER BREAK UP LETTER
Dear [insert screen name here] (if that is your real name),
I regret to inform you that, under a plan for the periodic
removal of
unpleasantness from my life, I must terminate our online
affair. This
termination takes effect immediately, but only because I
could not make
it retroactive. Below, you will find the reasons for this
action:
_____ While our cybersex sessions were, for the most part,
competent,
your constant use of "brb gotta pee" took some of the
romance out of it.
_____ Your use of the term "the ol` cyber ball and chain" to
refer to me
has hurt my feelings.
_____ I`ve found another lover, one who knows the importance
of
punctuation.
_____ Certain errors during cyber sessions indicate that you
were less
than honest:
╖ __ You typed: "I remove my bra" when you claimed to be a
man.
╖ __ You typed: "I enter you" when you claimed to be a
woman.
╖ __ You typed your own name at the end.
╖ __ Your supposedly original scenario, it turns out, is
simply page 56
of a Jackie Collins novel.
╖ __ Your repeated references to animals suggest that you
are hiding
something from me.
╖ __ Your refusal to cyber until I submitted a recent AIDS
test suggests
a degree of paranoia that is, simply put, unhealthy.
╖ __ I finally opened the file with your __ gif __ jpg __
police record.
╖ __ I have no choice but to comply with the court orders
unless I wish
to face stalking charges.
╖ __ Mommie says I need to spend less time on the computer.
╖ __ Your mommie called me and yelled at me because of all
the time
you`re spending on the computer.
╖ __ I have established a more personal relationship with
the Lord, and
I would like to talk to you in great detail about what you
can do to
ensure a place in Heaven when the endtimes come. They are
closer than
you think.
╖ ___ The fact that you BCC all your love letters to me
leaves me
feeling less than special. As in cyber cheating.
╖ ___ I finally read your profile, and the fact that you are
only 14
violates the terms of my parole.
╖ ___ I am entering the witness protection program.
Please understand, __ [screen name] and/or __ you
misbegotten son of a
bitch__ sir/madam __ mom/dad [for use in West Virginia],
that there is
nothing personal in this. We`ve simply grown apart.
Any additional correspondence you may direct to my
attorney,
__ Sincerely,
__ Gleefully,
__ I have to go before the warden calls "lights out,"
__ Uh oh, my Real Life mate is coming up the stairs,
__ Good riddance,
[Name or alias]
Rating : 1.80, 5 votes.
Reviews : 3 [add review]
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