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Abbott calling costello
Computer jokes
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Costello calls Abbott with some questions about UNIX.
Costello: What is the command that will tell me the revision code of a program?
Abbott: Yes, that`s correct.
Costello: No, what is it?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: So, which is the one?
Abbott: No. `which` is used to find the program.
Costello: Stop this. Who are you?
Abbott: Use `who am i` not `who r yoo`. You can also `finger yoo` to get information about `yoo`.
Costello: All I want to know is what finds the revision code?
Abbott: Use `what`.
Costello: That`s what I am trying to find out. Isn`t that true?
Abbott: No. `true` gives you 0.
Costello: Which one?
Abbott: `true` gives you 0. `which programname`
Costello: Let`s get back to my problem. What program? How do I find it?
Abbott: Type `find / -name it -print` to find `it`. Type `what program` to get the revision code.
Costello: I want to find the revision code.
Abbott: You can`t `find revisioncode`, you must use `what program`.
Costello: Which command will do what I need?
Abbott: No. `which command` will find `command`.
Costello: I think I understand. Let me write that.
Abbott: You can `write that` only if `that` is a user on your system.
Costello: Write what?
Abbott: No. `write that`. `what program`.
Costello: Cut that out!
Abbott: Yes. those are valid files for `cut`. Don`t forget the options.
Costello: Do you always do this?
Abbott: `du` will give you disk usage.
Costello: HELP!
Abbott: `help` is only used for Source Code Control System (SCCS).
Costello: You make me angry.
Abbott: No, I don`t `make me` angry but I did `make programname` when I was upset once.
Costello: I don`t want to make trouble, so no more.
Abbott: No `more`? `which` will help you find `more`. Every system has `more`.
Costello: Nice help! I`m confused more now!
Abbott: Understand that since `help` is such a small program, it is better not to `nice help`. and `more now` is not allowed but `at now` is. Unless of course `now` is a file name.
Costello: This is almost as confusing as my PC.
Abbott: I didn`t know you needed help with `pc`. Let me get you to the Pascal compiler team.
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