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One-liners: 251-300
Blonde jokes
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251. Q: How does a blonde commit suicide?
A: She gathers Her clothes into a pile and jumps off.
252. Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.
253. Q: Why did god give blonds 2% more brains than horses?
A: Because he didn`t want them shitting in the streets during parades.
254. Q: How do you get a one-armed blonde out of a tree?
A: Wave to her.
255. Q: How does a blonde measure his/her IQ?
A: With a tire gauge! (da da dum)
256. Q: How does a blonde get pregnant?
A: And I thought blondes were dumb!
257. Q: What do you call a blonde with ESP and PMS?
A: A know-it-all bitch.
258. Q: What`s the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny blonde?
A: One`s a phony buck.
259. Q: What`s the difference between a chorus line of blondes and a magician?
A: A magician has a cunning array of stunts.
260. Q: What is the best blonde secretary in the world to have?
A: One that never misses a period.
261. Q: What does a blonde think an innuendo is?
A: An Italian suppository.
262. Q: Why don`t a blondes guts fall out of Her twat when she stands?
A: Because the vaccum in Her head keeps them in place.
263. Q: What`s the difference between having sex with a blonde and eating Jell-o?
A: Jell-o wiggles when you eat it.
264. Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A1: I don`t know, there are some things even a blonde won`t do.
A2: Something that when it gives you a blow job, it won`t stop until it gets blood.
265. Q: Why was the blonde wearing Her sunglasses?
A: She was having sunny periods.
266. Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?
A: Her feet!
267. Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?
A: When she farts, Her knees bag.
268. Q: What`s the disease that paralyzes blondes below the waist?
A: Marriage.
269. Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan?
A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.
270. Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?
A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.
271. Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don`t. They`re born that way.
272. Q: How do ya paralyze a blonde from the neck down?
A: Marry her.
273. Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A: The cow fell on her.
274. Q: How did the blonde burn Her nose?
A: Bobbing for french fries.
275. Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A: She has a checkbook.
276. Q: How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A: There is a stamp on it.
277. Q: How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A: She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
278. Q: What`s the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMS?
A: Lipstick.
279. Q: Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A: So she can have a doggie bag for later.
280. Q: Why do men like blonde jokes?
A: Because they can understand them.
281. Q: Why do blondes like lightning?
A: They think someone is taking their picture.
282. Q: Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A: Finger on chin-I don`t know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
283. Q: Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A: From eating with forks.
284. Q: Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A: From dating blonde men.
285. Q: Why do blondes wear tampons?
A: Because crabs like Bungie Jumping too.
286. Q: But why do brunettes take the pill ?
A: Wishful Thinking.
287. Q: Why don`t blondes double recipes?
A: The oven doesn`t go to 700 degrees.
288. Q: Why don`t blondes make good pharmacists?
A: They can`t get the bottle into the typewriter.
289. Q: Why don`t blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can`t remember the number.
A2: She can`t find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
290. Q: What do you call a blonde touching Her toes?
A: A brunette with bad breath.
291. Q: What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A: Reservations.
292. Q: What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A: They pull up their pants.
293. Q: What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A: Air bubbles.
294. Q: What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing on a street corner?
A: 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, 4 f*cks, not for a zillion f*cks, 4 f*cks!
295. Q: What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A: A waste.
296. Q: What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A: An air mattress.
297. Q: What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A: Divorcee`
298. Q: What do you call a hooker and four blondes?
A: Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.
299. Q: What does a blonde owl say?
A: What, what?
300. Q: What do you call a zit on a blonde`s ass?
A: A brain tumor.
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