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One-liners: 1-25
Blonde jokes
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1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!
2. Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.
3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A: Pregnant.
4. Q: How do you brainwash a blonde?
A: Give her a douche and shake her upside down.
5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.
6. Q: How does a blonde part their hair?
A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart)
A2: By doing the splits.
7. Q: Why aren`t blondes good cattle herders?
A: Because they can`t even keep two calves together!
8. Q: What did the blonde`s right leg say to the left leg?
A: Nothing. They`ve never met.
9. Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A: Because, that`s where you`re supposed to wash vegetables!
10. Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?
A: After a dye job.
11. Q: Why didn`t the blonde want a window seat on the plane?
A1: She`d just dyed her hair.
A2: She`d just blow dried her hair and she didn`t want it blown around too much.
12. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.
13. Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
14. Q: What was the blonde psychic`s greatest achievment?
A: An IN-body experience!
15. Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they`re on their back.
16. Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash)
and a blonde have in common?
A: Put either of `em in a car and their fucked.
17. Q: What`s a blonde`s favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
18. Q: How do you make a blonde`s eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.
19. Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?
A: Shine a torch in her ears.
20. Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
21. Q1 How can you tell if a blonde`s been using the computer?
A: There`s white-out on the screen.
Q2: How can you tell if another blonde`s been using the computer?
A: There`s writing on the white-out.
22. Q: What`s the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.
23. Q: What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A: You don`t know how much either of them mean to you until they go down on you.
24. Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A: She didn`t like it because she couldn`t get channel 9.
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