Questions from the dog...
Animal jokes
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"Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers but seldom, if ever, smell one another?
Dear God: When we get to Heaven, can we sit on the couch.
Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for the dog? How often do you see a cougar running around? We dogs love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to have the "Chrysler Beagle"?
Dear God: If a dog barks His head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad dog?
Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scents, electromagnetic energy fields
and frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
Dear God: When we get to the pearly gates, do we have to shake hands to get in?
Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to apologize?
Dear God: Here`s a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog...
I will not eat the cats` food before the eat it or after they throw it up.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc, just because I like the way way they smell.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
The sofa is not a face towel.
The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad`s underwear when he is on the toilet.
Sticking my nose into someone`s crotch is not an acceptable way of saying
"hello."
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I`m lying under the coffee table.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house.
I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt across the carpet.
I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch in front of company.
The cat is not a squeaky toy, so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it is usually not a good thing."
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