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The trouser snake
Adult jokes
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=> NAME: *Expecteria Trouserius* (Trouser Snake) => LOCATION: Throughout the world
=> DESCRIPTION: One-eyed, with mushroom-shaped head (other types come with extra layers of skin) Varying from pink to black. Fang-less with a highly venomous spit. (Spit can reach distances up to 2-3 feet) *Size varies from 3 to 12 inches, depending on its mood & sub-species.
=> SYMPTOMS: This snake attacks mainly women in the lower front abdomen, resulting in an inconspicuous bump. Then a severe swelling followed by excruciating pain after nine months. The attack is not usually fatal. Beware: It has been known to attack men in the rear lower abdomen!
=> HABITAT: Usually found in bedrooms, but has been known to appear in the most unusual places.
=> ANTIDOTE: Various types of vaccine available for women. However, once the venom is injected into the body only drastic measures will ensure complete recovery. There is no known antidote for men.
=> WHAT TO DO WHEN ATTACKED
TOURNIQUET: Do not apply a tourniquet as the venom is too deep in the body to be affected.
CUTTING THE WOUND: This would be completely unnecessary and ineffective as the bleeding will stop after a few weeks anyhow.
SUCKING THE WOUND: This method is the most popular with the victim, but so far has not been reported to have led to any success.
=> CONCLUSION: This snake, although it is very aggressive and active, is not necessarily a vermin, and treated with the right respect, makes a wonderful pet.
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