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47 reasons not to ha
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Top 47 Reasons for women NOT To Have Sex 1. The pitter patter of little feet 2. Never let `em see you sweat 3. Your parents might realise that you`re not 12 years old anymore 4. Naked men 5. Guilt, guilt, and GUILT 6. You might like it 7. Rhenquist, Scalia, Kennedy, Souter, Thomas 8. Paying back oral sex debts 9. Only pagans procreate 10. Castration 11. You might fall in lust or, Heaven forbid, love 12. Body hair 13. Too many lights on in the room 14. Your roommate and neighbours can`t sleep with all that screaming 15. Axl Rose 16. Since that nasty little Gulf War, there`s no money left for research and treatment of those nasty little Sexually Transmitted Diseases 17. Why bother doing it yourself? Just buy the new Prince album 18. Pennsylvania Abortion Law 19. Utah Abortion Law 20. Alabama Abortion Law 21. Taking care of the orgasm deficit 22. Yeast infections 23. Too sticky 24. Messes up your hair 25. Charley-horses 26. Bladder infections 27. Cher 28. "It`s only a cold sore" 29. Photographers with infrared cameras (remember, if it can be seen from a public place, it`s not private) 30. Hetero men who ask, "Did you come yet?" 31. SOMEBODY has to sleep in the wet spot 32. Taking off the jimmy-hat 33. In horror flicks, people having sex are always the first to be killed by axe murderers in hockey masks 34. The ever popular Eternal Damnation 35. Smegma 36. You still live with your parents 37. You love her but you`re not *in love* with her 38. Creation of sounds not meant to be emitted by the human body 39. Drooling 40. Letters to the Editor 41. Calling out the wrong name 42. Potential threat to your political aspirations (unless you`re a Kennedy) 43. Your brother gets home from school at 3:00 44. No one to have sex with 45. Carpet burn 46. Any offspring resultant from sex may end up looking like you ! 47. Worse than No.46.. they could end up looking like him !
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