Customer care in 2020

Customer: Hello, can I order..

Operator: Can I have your multi-purpose card number first, sir?

Customer: It`s eh..., hold.... on...889861356102049998-45-54610.

Operator: OK... you`re... Mr Singh and you`re calling from Bur Dubai. Your house number is xxx, your office number is yyy and your mobile is zzz. Which number are you calling from now, sir?

Customer: Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator: We are connected to a system, sir.

Customer: May I order your Seafood Pizza?

Operator: That`s not a good idea, sir.

Customer: How come?

Operator: According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level, sir.

Customer: What?... What do you recommend then?

Operator: Try our Low Fat Hokkien Mee Pizza. You`ll like it.

Customer: How do you know for sure?

Operator: You borrowed a book entitled `Popular Hokkien Dishes` from the National Library last week, sir.

Customer: OK, I give up... Give me three family size ones then. How much will that cost?"

Operator: That should be enough for your family of 10, sir. The total is Dh150, sir.

Customer: Can I pay by! credit card?

Operator: I`m afraid you have to pay us cash, sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Dh3,720.55 since October last year. That`s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, sir.

Customer: I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives.

Operator: You can`t, sir. Based on the records,you`ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today.

Customer: Never mind. Just send the pizzas, I`ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?

Operator: About 45 minutes sir, but if you can`t wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle.

Customer: What!

Operator: According to the details in system, you own a scooter,...registration number .
Customer: Okay, okay!

Operator: Is there anything else, sir?
Customer: Nothing... by the way... aren`t you giving me that three free bottles of cola as advertised?

Operator: We normally would sir, but based on your records you`re also diabetic.

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator: Better watch your language sir. Remember on 10th July 1997, you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?

Your Comprehensive Guide to Calicut city
(kozhikode) and Calicut Yellowpages

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